Today has been a day filled with mixed emotions. Early this morning I heard the news of Steven Curtis Chapman's daughter. From that point on I felt sick to my stomach. Even though we came so close to losing Caed ourselves, I cannot imagine what that family is going through. Even more than ever, I found myself asking God, "Why? Why are you allowing these things to happen?" It is not for us to understand the reasons, so we have to simply TRUST in the One who does. This news was a reminder for me that our children ultimately belong to Him. He blesses us beyond measure when He gives them to us, but we have to understand we only have them for a season. Some seasons are longer than others. They can last a lifetime. Others might only be a few short years. It's hard as a parent not to get depressed with such a thought. However, instead of living in constant fear, we need to make the MOST of the time we have. It helps bring things in perspective. Are we wasting precious time and energy on things with no lasting value? God, help us to remember our responsibility as parents is a big one. Remind us daily that our #1 goal is to show them YOU!
Caed had probably his best day yet today!! This morning was very typical. He did throw up several times throughout the day and we did have our "anger moments." However, from about 6:00 pm on...it was unbelievable! Watching him play, I had to remind myself what these last 3 months have been like. He was absolutely as normal as can be. His voice throughout all this has been somewhat affected. Tonight, I heard HIM for the first time. He and Reagan had so much fun outside with their water guns. They truly "played" together for a couple of hours. I kept my eye on them (mainly Caed), but tried to leave them alone and let them just be together and play. At one point I heard Caed humming a song. I know that doesn't seem like much, but for us it is! I increased his amount of carnation instant breakfast. He never threw any of that up today. (only clear liquids) The doctors were amazed at how good he looked at his appt. He did get sick a couple of times while we were there, but that's ok. I'm trying not to get so frustrated every time he does. His stomach / intestines are healing. They are working and moving things through, but still on a slow pace. That's to be expected. If we can keep making small steps each week, he'll be back to normal in no time. (I have to laugh at those 2 words because "no time" for Caed might be a couple more months! ha!)
Like I said earlier, I had a range of emotions today. In one sense, I was literally sick at thinking what the Chapman family has to be going through. I can empathize only a very small bit. Although we came so close to losing Caed...I still have my child! Even though he continues to throw up many many times a day...I still have my child! Even though there are times he is "emotionally troubled"...I still have my child! Even though he has tubes coming out of his chest and stomach....I still have my child! Even though he is not the same little boy we once knew...I still have my child!! Oh God! You have shown us Your mercy and love. Thank you for allowing us to have a little more time with our Caed. We don't know when You will ultimately call him home, but as we were reminded today, time is fleeting. Help us to be purposeful in our parenting.
You give and take away...but Blessed be the Name of the Lord!!
8 comments:
Lori, yes, it was a beautiful day for us all. What is the old saying...a picture is worth a thousand words.
Well, we have no doubt, written a thousand words. It has been a privelege to pray for Caed.
Lord, we thank you for these beautiful pictures of Caed. We are encouraged to see what God has done, and what he is about to do.
So we are hanging tough to the end!!Amen!
It is so amazing ro hear you talk lori you are so uplifting, I thank you . I am praying for you guys. i miss you so much addie 3am
As I looked at the pics this morning.....and what wonderful Caed-like pics!!!!! Especially the water gun ones where he is shooting Reagan!!! Ha!! Welcome back Caed. Love it love it love it!! Praise God! Hearing about the Chapman fam was hard for us too. Although, unfortunately, we know all too well about loss early in the game. I pray that God needed to teach us early in life just what you wrote....get the MOST out of it all and don't focus on the pointless crap. Can't wait to see what happens next!! Love yall
G & K
Lori,
You wrote so well about how a parent feels when you "almost lose a child through illness". I have found from our experience that you do take joy in the day to day "little moments" and that things do seem to get put into an eternal perspective. So glad to hear about Caed's better day! Continuing to lift you up in prayer.
Minichans in SC
Lori,
you humble me as a parent to focus on what God's plan is for our children - that even our children are part of His plan and are for His glory. It is so wonderful to see Caed so "little boy" in the pictures - hold these moments to your heart.
Thank you God for your encouragement to Lori and Todd - and for the time Reagan had to share "normal" play with Caed. Trust the Lord to bring all these things together for His good.
Thank you again for being so open and allowing what God is doing in your family's life to point us to the Father.
Yea for a good day for Caed! I love the mommy Caed picture! I also loooove the pictures of grandpa wearing the baby in a sling! So cute! You and Todd make such beautiful children!
Thanks for keeping us updated! I missed it last night... you outlasted me again. Lori, do you ever sleep?
You are such an amazing writer. I feel like we are walking this journey right along with you guys. It helps me so much to be able to pray purposefully because your writing always brings me to a point of crying along with you guys or rejoicing!
"When I thought, "My foot slips," your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul." Psalm 94:18&19
Lori, you do not know me, but I am a friend of Marilyn's. I have been praying for your family and reading your blogs often. Your words are like daily devotionals to me and remind me everyday how precious my children are and precious our God is. I read these verses this morning and thought of you. I am praying that through all of this suffering, the Lord will cheer all of your souls and that you will all feel His steadfast love holding you up.
Thank you for the light you are sharing with so many through your words. And, I praise God that through all of this Caed's little light is glowing so bright!
In Christ, Lyndi
Lori I just want to tell you what your blogs have meant to me. I pray every day for you all. Your trials have brought me closer to the Lord and have certainly made my prayer life take on a whole new meaning. Caed has reached so many people thru this. Your blogs daily are like a closer walk with God for me. Stay strong and keep the faith.
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