Sunday, December 12, 2010

A new normal

is what we are desperately attempting to achieve these days. We have officially been in West Texas for 6 weeks, but to be honest I still feel like we're just here "visiting."

This move has been like no other. We packed up our house in Celina and stored it all in our garage. The big furniture and decor was left alone so we could stage our house until we we found somewhere to live here in Idalou. Until then...we would live with my (very gracious) parents. So, on moving day (Oct. 31), we loaded up a 6 ft. trailer with only the essentials. Everything else was left there in Celina. Hence the feeling again that we were just visiting. Anyone walking into our home in Celina would NEVER know we had just moved unless they began opening cabinet or closet doors. For a little over a month we stayed with my parents, living out of boxes and suitcases. 90% of my clothes were still packed in garment boxes in the garage. On more than one occasion, I had to (lovingly...not!) get the cat out of my sweater box. (have I ever mentioned I'm VERY allergic to cat hair???) On another occasion, you would find me sitting on the floor of the garage in front of a giant box in tears! All I wanted was to find some shoes to wear to church. Anything would do...as long as there were no laces and a rubber sole. That month was hard. Hard on everyone involved. It was like visiting for Christmas.....extended 3 more weeks. My parents were awesome!! But, I was stressed. I desperately needed structure...order....and routine. And of course longed for my family to be in our own home again. My parents have a beautiful, very spacious house, but most of our things were crammed into one bedroom (all 5 of us). Our space was FAR from neat and orderly. It was down right chaotic......which only made me more irritable each time I stepped foot inside the door. However, there were also very sweet times (that I wouldn't trade for) those 4 weeks. My sister in law, Megan....and niece Xan were there staying with my parents too during that time. Can you say....the modern day Walton's? ;) They live in China now, so it was extra special getting to spend so much time together.

Finally.....our house here in Idalou was move-in ready! So, the first week of December we headed for Celina with 2 giant moving trucks to get the remainder (bulk) of our belongings. Walking into our house there was surreal. Everything looked normal. Like we had just come home from a long vacation. (funny....had that same experience a couple of years ago....wink, wink) It was all there. In perfect order. Not a stitch out of place. (Ironically what happens when you put your house on the market) Oh, how I MISSED my home!! The memories came flooding in. Every inch....every where I laid my eyes, there was a story. Sweet times. The endless hours Reagan and I spent in that dining room homeschooling. The living room recliner that Caleb and I slept in those first 2 weeks of his life. (little did I know that precious time would be cut far too short) I could hear the crackling of the fireplace and see Caed and Reagan having a picnic of hot chocolate and s'mores in front it. The number of "shows" and dance competitions that took place in the playroom would put America's Got Talent to shame. This was the house in which my daughter would go from everything Princess and pink and Strawberry Shortcake and Hello Kitty.....to a Hannah Montana loving Pre-Tweener. And the drums. This was the house Caed got his very first drum set (age 4)....and 2 more sets bigger and better each time, followed. Our poor neighbors. They were "blessed" I'm sure on more than one occasion (daily!) to hear the deep thumping coming from the east side of the house. The number of youth fellowships and Bible Studies that took place in that living room were too numerous to count. I could still hear the laughter of SO many teenagers through the years that blessed our home by their presence. Their zeal for life made me feel "young" again. (no comment Brad) Then, the tears.....the deep heartfelt concerns and prayers that were uttered by those same zealous students. If only the walls of my living room could talk. Then, there were the painful memories. I can still remember standing in the living room upon hearing the news Todd's dad only had a few short hours to live. This was the house I had to leave for a year while Caed was sick. While vacuuming his room for the last time, I was so overcome with emotions. The memories particularly that stem from that room......are endless. I began to wonder what family would someday (hopefully soon!) come to make their own memories in that house on Doloris Court. What highs and lows would they experience? And would they ever grasp what a life-changing house that was for US?

And now.....here we are again. The 5th home Todd and I have lived in during our married life. There are bittersweet memories associated with each and every one of them. What will God bring to us here on Elm Street? I'm sure it will be both amazing and painful. Junior High dances....teenage girl drama and boy crushes.....make-up.....sharing shoes with Mom - for Reagan? More team sports......"too cool" for his Super Hero toys and holding Mommy's hand in public.....realizing not all shirts and pants go together.....starting a garage band (literally) with his little brother......G-tube GONE!! - for Caed? Breaking his Mommy's heart the 1st day of Kindergarten.....learning to read.....being big and strong enough to finally "fight back" big brother......see a church and not cry "no nursery!!".......play in a real T-ball game......develop into as good a drummer as brother - for Caleb? Oh, the possibilities! They are like the stars.

One day, we will be loading up a moving truck yet again and this house that is now our new home will become empty. I will be sweeping and vacuuming for the last time and sure enough pondering the events that took place under this roof. And we will, yet again set out in search of another new normal.......

God, you know change has always been so hard for me. Setting the cruise control in my comfort zone is what I desire. But, thank you for continuing to stretch me. For blessing me with new and exciting adventures. I pray for this house. For the things that take place within these walls to be pleasing to You! Honestly, I am very apprehensive. I'm downright scared. What dreadful event(s) will take place while we are here? Calm my heart. Remind me of Your unfailing love for me and my family. Your Faithfulness!!! Father, I pray for a spiritual hedge of protection to surround this house. Guard Todd and I's marriage. Defend my children from the spiritual attacks they will face. Strengthen our family as we begin this new chapter in our lives. Let us love one another....encourage one another.....and ENJOY one another. I pray for LOTS of laughter to fill this house and the tears to be minimal. Thank you again for Your clarity in this move. Your hand has been SO evident. We know You have amazing things in store for us.....and we can't wait!