Sun. 5/25 - update

The plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of His heart through all generations. (Psalm 33:11)

...But we must be prepared to wait on God's timing. His timing is precise, for He does things "at the very time" He has set. It is not for us to know His timing, and in fact we cannot know -we must wait for it. So take heart, dear child, when God requires you to wait. The One you wait for will not disappoint you. He will never be even five minutes behind "the appointed time." And soon "your grief will turn to joy." (John 16:20) Streams in the Desert

Oh God! How long must we wait? Days have turned into weeks and now months! I know it is in our best interest that we do not know Your time table. Help us to trust YOU and know that You have not forgotten us or abandoned us. We are in the palm of Your hand!

Today was basically identical to yesterday. The morning was absolutely awful! He threw up every 30 minutes or so for 5-6 hrs. straight. It was hard seeing him suffer, but also my hope and optimism began to dwindle with each episode. I kept thinking, "God, why do you keep giving us these GOOD times/days with him where he acts so normal, then only to be set back the very next day?" I guess I partly know the answer, and I am thankful that He is giving us these glimpses of hope and "normalcy." Probably couldn't go on without them. It is just SO incredibly difficult to be on this roller coaster...up and down...up and down. God, thank you for the "ups!" Hold us ever so tightly during the "downs!"

After Caed woke up from his nap, he was in such a good mood and felt great. Reagan had gone swimming again, and Caed begged me to go back out to Lee J. and Sandy's pool. If you're from around here, you know what the weather was like...awful. But, he kept on, so I decided even if it was just a car ride out to their house and we had to turn around and come home....at least we got out. We ended up staying. Some did end up swimming a little. He had so much fun. He did exactly what he did yesterday. Threw toys in for the other kids to get...and also played on the swing set. He even wanted a brownie. Huge deal!! He doesn't ever want any kind of food. He ate 2 bites, but handed it back because it didn't taste good. Don't get me wrong (and I apologize for whoever made them...ha!), the brownies were fine and normal. Things just don't taste right to him anymore. I think it's all the medication he's been on. Makes it tough when we're supposed to try to get him to eat!

While we were there, we stayed for church. It was the first time I've been involved in corporate worship in almost 3 months!! We only got to stay for 4-5 songs (because Caed started getting sick), but I am truly grateful for it. As Caed was begging me to go out there this afternoon, the Lord knew I needed it as well. One of the songs we sang was "Blessed Be the Name." I cried all the way through it. Songs like that take on a new meaning when you are literally walking through darkness like we are. Thank you God for speaking to me through the music. We were singing these songs to YOU!....we were praising YOU!....giving glory to YOU!...and yet YOU in return were speaking directly to me! Thank you for reminding me that YOU ARE HOLY, RIGHTEOUS, ALMIGHTY, JUST, SOVEREIGN, LOVING AND MERCIFUL!! You knew that I desperately needed this time and You provided it in such a mysterious way. I was simply taking Caed out to play. You instead needed to speak to me! Thank You!!