I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD...Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage.
(Psalm 27:13-14)
This was the verse for today in my devotional. How fitting! Thank you God that You speak intimately with ME (little old Lori) and know what's in my heart and what I needed to hear. These last couple of months have been extremely difficult, but even before all this began, there were things in my life that I had been very burdened by. Various things...I'm sure each one of you reading this have very similar concerns and burdens going on in your life as well. The Lord has been working on me, trying to teach me and show me His Faithfulness for quite awhile now. It's just a part of life. However, when times get hard or we don't understand God's ways, that's when "life" can sometime seem hopeless. We can't see the future. We don't know how or when the rest of the story will unfold. It's scary. This is where I personally find myself now. "God...I want to TRUST YOU! I know Your plans for me are great. They are ones that I myself couldn't even dream up or think were possible. Please help me to be still...to leave all my worries, concerns, questions, and "what ifs" at Your feet. I want my hope to solely be in YOU, not my circumstances. And even though I KNOW all these promises in my head; Lord, I plead with You to make them a reality in my HEART!!!!!" Peace be still...
Show me Your ways, O LORD, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long.
(Psalm 25:4-5)
Thank you for reading Caed's blog each day. For simply loving him and us enough to take time out of your busy day. Thank you for (unknowingly) giving me an outlet. When this first began, it started out as 2 bulk emails sent to our close family and friends updating them on Caed's condition. Then, it turned into a daily blog. People have told me not to feel burdened with having to do this each day. What they don't understand is that God knew I desperately needed to "vent," and He created this especially for me! Honestly, nothing would change if I found out no one was even reading the blog. Not only do I cherish "Caed's daily medical updates" for us to look back on, but truly the opportunity to just lay my feelings out there. I used to be a big journal writer through high school and college, but am now rediscovering how therapeutic it is for me. Thank you again for allowing me to do so.
As far as Caed today: some bad, but a lot of good! He gets "unhooked" from his TPN usually from 4:00 - 9:00pm. He was outside 90% of that time. He did very well. He ate a little ice cream, pizza, and a chip today. (however...most all of that came back up) That part is very frustrating!! Dr. G said that's to be expected - it will just take lots of time. But, when you see him improving in so many other areas, you just want his stomach to do the same. His G-tube draining amount doubled from yesterday! Not sure why. I was really excited to see that number going down each day. Really can't pin point what may have caused the difference. Caed is learning our daily routine pretty well now. He is also getting used to Nurse Mommy messing with all his tubes. When I was hooking him back up last night and doing all the meds into his port, he turned to Reagan and said, "Hey watch me! It doesn't even hurt." The reason we laugh at that is because he's been having that EXACT thing done to him for the past 70 days! Now, all of a sudden he plays the "brave card." He and Reagan played very well together today. I would almost forget about them (if I was dealing with Caleb) and then listen out the door and hear some very familiar dialogue from days past. It was SO good for both of them. I know they have really missed each other! Even though we are here now, Caed isn't the same. (physically VERY limited!) Virtually nothing is how is used to be between them before all this began. So, the little time they do have to "semi-play" like they used to...is golden!
Todd will fly back in tomorrow evening. We are all very ready for him to be here!!
3 comments:
yea!! I am so so happy to be hearing this news. Caed i really miss you. I pray for Caed's stomach to heal and intestines. Have a great mother's day Lori. Also I pray for your strength in the times when todd is gone. I love you guys and miss you so much. addie
Oh Addie, I knew you would overcome to the 3:00 am hour. Please forgive me, I have been burning the midnight and early morning oil, helping Matthew with his 8th grade scrapbook. Of course, we have waited until ll:59:59 to get it put together.
It is a blessing to work with him. He is soooo patient with me, with my motherly control, and usually gives in with how I want to decorate the page. He can truly write though. He is actually smarter than me. So we are a good team. He keeps me laughing and from being toooo tense. God is good how He balances us out even with our children.
Lori, I pray the same grace for you with your children. Isn't it interesting how as we give or try to give our will to the Lord, our children are the first to point out the very thing that irritates us and what we need to be free of. It is amazing! Guess that is why God told us our children would be a blessing!
Lord, I pray the joy of the Lord and the anointing of the holy spirit would fall upon Lori and the entire family, this day --- Mothers Day. HAPPY MOTHERS DAY LORI!!! For such a time as this, Lord I thank you for Lori and the example she has been to all of us as women. Thank you for communication and how your favor of healing has been upon her life.
Lord, I ask you take all the worries and fears that have tried to overcome Lori, and replace them with your infinite love. Touch her this day with your healing hand as you are also healing Caed. Bond them together in your unconditional love that they may encourage one another. May the peace of Christ rule in your hearts. We love you Lord and Praise Your Holy Name. Asking all this in the most precious name of Jesus! Amen!
God's richest blessing on you today,
Randy, Nancy, Hillary & Matt
"HAPPY MOTHERS DAY" TO ALL THE BEAUTIFUL MOTHERS READING THIS MESSAGE!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY LORI
Lori i thank you for the daily blog it helps me just as much as you. I feel like Caed is my little boy too. I miss him across the street. Can't wait for you guys to come home to Celina.
Lord we come to you on our knees as mothers pleding with you to heal Caed little body inside and out. Be with this family and all that is involed. We thank you for allowing us to take care of your children and guide us in the upbring of them. We know you sent your own son to die for our sins. We thank you for that. Amen
Lori you are doing a wounderful job in the blog and keeping us updated on the progress of Caed. It's hard to be here and feel like our hands are tied. But when i read the blog i feel like i know me praying i am doing something. We love you guys. Have a wounderful day with you kids Lori and remember that GOD gave us these children for a purpose. Keri
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