Mommy's Prayer for you

Dear Caed,

Well, we have been on this road now for 2 1/2 months. In some ways it has gone by so fast, and yet others, it is though time stood still. My heart is FULL! I'm not sure I even have the words to communicate what I am feeling. God, help me! Today, we had to go back to the hospital. We had been home 10 days, and boy was it tough driving there early this morning. We didn't know what lie ahead, or if we would have to stay again. Today we did something that you and I have done so many times before. It has just become routine. You had a certain procedure you needed done in another area of the hospital. They came to get you, and something we learned a long time ago, is for me to sit in the wheelchair and you to get up in my lap. I guess it gives you comfort and security being so close to me. (what you don't know is that I need the closeness as much as you do!) As we were being wheeled down the very long, familiar hallway, these thoughts came to me and I wanted so desperately to write them to you. I know right now you are too young and do not understand, but I pray someday you can look back at this and read it and know my heart.

Caed, as you probably know, you were named for a Christian band that Daddy and I really like, Caedmon's Call. We have had so many people ask us about the spelling of your name since being at the hospital. I have had to explain it more times than I can count. God has used it to speak to me now 4+ years later. Many centuries ago, there was a man, named Caedmon. He was one of the first poets to use "repentance" as a theme. It was his "call"....his passion....for others to come to know the saving power of Jesus Christ. YOU also have a call on your life! (as we all do) What are you going to do with it? Will you ignore it or embrace it and RUN? Caed, right now you are 4 years old. I am not expecting you to understand this. Daddy and I's prayer is that someday you will! God is using YOU, a little 4 yr. old boy to draw others to Himself. We absolutely hate what you have and are continuing to go through!! You are dealing with things that most grown ups will never even face in their lifetime. If it was up to us, we would take all this from you in a heartbeat. But God is reminding us daily that HE CHOSE YOU, Caed, to carry this enormously tough burden (filled with lots of physical pain, fear, anxiety, anger, frustration, confusion, and sadness) for a very special purpose. We don't know what that is right now, and we may never truly see all the ways He has used this, but we are not called to always "see." He commands us to simply "walk" by faith the road He has set before us. We do not know when or how this particular road you're on will end. Lord willing, you are getting close! BUT, we know He has a plan and there are so many people He is wanting to touch through this experience. Caed, did you know hundreds, if not thousands of people are praying right now for YOU? So many that do not even know you, have never met you, only know you are a 4 yr. old little boy who is very sick. Isn't that awesome? I know as I write this, you are most likely asleep up in your hospital bed completely unaware of all these things. One day, Caed you will. What will you do with it? Will you sit back and be complacent, or will you embrace it and RUN? Your Daddy and I pray for your future. Not necessarily one of ease, but one of great purpose!

"Oh, Lord, use him to bring others to a saving knowledge of You. Use him to bring those who may have fallen away back to Your arms. Use him to draw Your children into closer fellowship with You. Use him for YOUR GLORY ALONE!! He is not ours...He is Yours!"

We love you Caed more than you will ever, ever know! We thank God for allowing us to be your parents. What an undeserving privilege!

To the moon and BACK!
Mommy