Monday, December 29, 2008

Party for a Princess

........and that she truly is! Alexandria Mei Everitt forever joined our family on Sept. 18, 2006. Stan and Megan (along with my parents) traveled all the way across the world (China) to bring her home. She was just 8 mos. old at the time. Wow! To look at her now. She is growing up into such a beautiful little girl.

We celebrated Xan's birthday early since the 3 of them were here for Christmas. She will officially turn 3 in January. What fun to be able to be apart of her birthday.


Megan had planned a wonderful party with other family and friends, however, due to a stomach bug that has traveled its way around my parents' house the past few days, the guest list was shortened to only those of us who had been exposed to it. Poor Mama......did all she could to get through the party.





After the cupcakes and presents, we were serenaded with a wonderful rendition of Ever After (from the movie Enchanted).

Stan, Megan, and Xan live in South Carolina, so it makes it harder for us to all get together very often. This was the 1st Christmas we have spent with them in 5 years. What a wonderful time we had all being together. Something we don't take for granted.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

More Christmas fun

Christmas on Hollingsworth side:

Todd, his 2 brothers...........and families



We better find the receipt. Don't think she liked this one!



Watch out Troy Bolton!!!







Reagan sure loves her Grammy!!!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Is it better to give........

...than to receive?


Absolutely!! Christmas Eve night our family headed to ToysRUs (along with all the other procrastinators) and allowed the kids to choose a gift that he/she thought a sick child up in the hospital would like.

Our family (especially Caed) was the recipient of SO many wonderful gifts during his stay at the hospital. We were truly overwhelmed by the generosity especially from "strangers." So, we decided to go back to "Caed's hospital" this Christmas and do the same for others in need.










After the kids each chose their gift, we headed back to Idalou and got to work on the goodie bags. We wanted to give every child up in the hospital a "little something" and wish them a Merry Christmas.

Truly, this will be a Christmas to remember for our family. Sure, it's fun to receive a gift or two, but there's something absolutely fullfilling to give! Jesus was right when He said,

"It's better to give than to receive......"

We pray our children can grow in their understanding of this more each year.

Hospital pics

Seeing one of his favorite nurses!!





Caed at one of his old rooms. #310



Going door to door

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Holiday fun

Our good friends Brad and Crystal stopped by to visit. (Brad is one of Caed's heros!!!)



Making cookies.........Play-Doh style



Who needs Christmas presents when you have a box of Kleenex!!



Having fun at Jumpin' Jungle (I allowed Caed to be "backpack free" for a couple of hours. He had so much fun!!)



Caed and cousin Xan (Stan & Megan's little girl)



Caed had his weekly blood draw and weight check yesterday. We think he may have lost some. It's hard to be accurate when you use different scales, but hopefully it wasn't too much. He was 40.4 last week.........I believe 38 yesterday. Next week, we will go back to Dr. Higgins' office (same scale), so we should get a better idea. Then, Caed and I will head back to Nebraska for a clinic visit on Jan. 2nd. We're hearing there is plenty of snow now so Caed should be happy!!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

JOY to the world

Shout aloud and sing for JOY.................(Isaiah 12:6)


Being back here in Idalou at my parents' house is wonderful. Just the joy of being with family comforts my soul. However, everywhere I look......there are memories of some 'very tough days.' I had to clean out the pantry (aka. Medical Supply Central). I experienced both joy and sadness in doing so. Joy in the fact that SO much of it could be thrown away!!!!! A bucket full of medicines, tubes, etc....that are no longer needed. Praise God! Maybe "sadness" is the wrong word to use. I wasn't 'sad' I was throwing it all away, but just reliving the painful memories of having to use it all. Remembering what life was once like here. The exhausting days and nights! As Caed got into his little bed 2 nights ago, again I was filled with happiness of just being here, but also sick to my stomach. Seeing the old supplies nearby and having flashbacks of him in that bed crying for hours in pain did not settle well.

Outwardly our little rambunctious Caed is back! It's as though none of this ever happened. However, seeing him hooked up to his backpack continually, having to carefully monitor what enters his mouth (and record it), give the daily meds, have a weekly blood draw, and guard his infamous "poop journal"..........remind me again that he is not the same. I'm not sure if fear will always be apart of my heart now. The "what ifs" continue. Will he have a setback? Will there come a point where he no longer improves? I try desperately to stay optimistic, but satan of course creeps in ever so often and whispers those lies of fear and doubt into my head.

I am eternally grateful for his progress. We are home. We are a family of 5 again. We are able to go and do things that normal families do. I don't take them for granted. Just a few days ago, we were in WalMart, and my mom reminded me of the first time we took the kids there after Caed had been discharged from the hospital. He did not even make it to the front door before we had to stop in the middle of the parking lot......get out his throw up bag.....and then drain his G-tube. I was so excited to be taking him into a real store again!! As he sat in the basket, joy flooded my soul. I wanted to scream out "Look at us! Look at my little boy! You may think we are just a normal family doing some shopping. We are not! This is a HUGE moment for us!"




However, once again.....we were reminded of how sick he still was when we had to stop every 10 minutes or so and "drain his tube" because he was crying so hard from stomach pains. The stares.........I wanted to scream out this time "Leave us alone!!! He is just a sick little boy trying to experience something 'normal' again. He hasn't been out in public in over 3 months!!"

................................fast forward.............. 2 days ago, I am having to get on to him for running in that same store! There is JOY!! Sure, we still experience the stares at times (with his tubes), but I don't mind a bit.

I want people to get a GOOD LOOK at what God has done for this little boy. Caed is our miracle, and we want to share him with the world..............................!!!!!!!!!!!!


One of the daily entries in the journal we kept at the hospital. Looking back over this notebook was heart wrenching!!!!!



Off to the garbage!!

Thank you Lord for Your Faithfulness....for Your Mercy on Caed....thank you for reminding us through pictures like this of YOUR HEALING POWER!!!!


There was once a day these little bags were glued to our hips 24/7

Monday, December 15, 2008

Christmas morning.....

...at the Hollingsworth house........10 days early. Because of travel plans, we decided to have our family Christmas this morning. We have done this every year (except one) since Reagan was born. It doesn't matter the day on the calendar, there still is something "magical" about the kids waking up and seeing their presents. Caed kept saying, "this is the best day of my life." (ha! He says this every year!) I guess for a child, it probably is. It was fun getting to experience Caleb's 1st Christmas too. Even though he didn't really have a clue, Reagan & Caed sure made up for it.

The excitement was short lived as Caed had to get dressed and go to the dr. to get blood drawn. Poor thing. I will sure be glad when these days are over! He is doing much better with it. Still cries (of course....who wouldn't), but understands this is just a weekly duty he has now. He continues to make slow progress. He still is on his tube feeds 24/7 (except for early mornings and before he goes to bed - while I'm mixing and getting the new bag ready.) This week we are slowly increasing them by 1 ml / day. (he is currently at 102) When he gets to 110, he will be allowed 2 "free hours" a day.........120 - he will get 4 hrs. without backpack. However, we will also be watching his lab work and stools to make sure his body agrees with the changes. He has been on the antibiotic Vanco for over a month. We are now down to just twice a day!! (started as 2 weeks / 4x day.........2 weeks / 3x day.........2 weeks / 2x day) We will stop on Christmas Eve. His stools have also continued to improve a little in consistency and frequency. He gained a little weight the last week and 1/2. Today he is at 41 lbs. even. We know he still has a long way to go, but he is definitely improving. Thank you God for answered prayer!!!!

We also have more good news!! The Make-A-Wish Foundation contacted us this week and said Caed qualified for "a wish!!!" They will come to our home sometime after Christmas to talk further with Caed and get the process rolling. Oh!!! How this little boy deserves some real fun after ALL he has been through. We thank God for allowing us to have this special time together as a family. Lifetime memories will definitely be made!

The kids and I will leave out for Lubbock tomorrow morning. We will be picking up Megan and Xan (sister n law and niece) 1/2 way and taking them on with us. This year is going to be a big year for the Everitt side. Stan and Megan (Xan) haven't been "home" for Christmas in 5 years! We are all so excited to have this time together. It's sure hard when we only get to see them once a year.















more Christmas pics











Sunday, December 14, 2008

12 yrs. ago today...


...I married the love of my life. I vowed to God in front of family and friends to love, honor, and cherish him for as long as I lived. Although as I look back now, I know I did not truly understand what that simple, common phrase meant. I couldn't. Neither of us had ever been married and had a clue what marriage really involved. We were 'in love'..........floating on the clouds.........everything was as it should be. Perfect. However, it didn't take long for the honeymoon to be over and the storms of life to roll in. We have had our ups and downs, like everyone else, but the one prayer I have every Dec. 14th is for the Lord to draw us closer than the previous year. For Him to teach us what it truly means to love unconditionally and give us grace in areas we are lacking.

God has been good to us this year. Not only with Caed and his health, but with the enormous difficulty of living the majority of it separate. I promise you satan attacked more times than we care to count. He knew what prime circumstances were present to bring fear and doubt into our marriage. I am so thankful for the protection and grace that has been placed over us these last 12 years, but especially this last one. It was tough..............

Todd, as I often tell you, it is extremely difficult for me to verbally express my feelings. Writing them.....no problem. But, face to face.....I struggle daily. I am sorry. I love you more today than I did 12 years ago. I continue to be so grateful to you for your example and Godly leadership in our family. Thank you for providing for Reagan, Caed, Caleb, and I and allowing ME to fulfill the desires of MY HEART by having the opportunity to be with them at home. It has not been easy, but I thank you for always supporting me in this. I thank God for your heart. For your genuine desire to know Him better, and your passion to see others do the same. Thank you for the wonderful gifts you have given me through Reagan, Caed, and Caleb. They are the joys of my heart!! I pray that as we continue to live this life together, we grow closer, and be the example to our children of what a Godly marriage truly looks like.

Thank you for loving me.........despite me!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

A special prayer request for a special young man





I have been extra burdened by something the last several days, and finally decided to share it on the blog. I know how the prayers of hundreds (all across the country) blessed our family this past year, and I wanted to ask the same for a sweet family.

Many of you (who live in and around the Lubbock area) probably have heard this story on the news or you know this family personally. However, I wanted to share this with the many "curious about Caed" prayer warriors across the nation and world that have not heard.

I grew up in a small West Texas town called Idalou. I even went back after college and taught elementary school there for 5 years. During 3 of those years, I had the honor of having a little boy named Tanner Cook (now a Senior at Idalou High). He was an incredible student and all around leader. I have watched him grow up over the past 7-8 years (through the Idalou newspaper), and he has continued to be an awesome role model and star athlete.

On Dec. 6th......Idalou was in a play off football game against Cisco. Tanner suffered a major head injury and is in critical condition at Covenant Children's Hospital there in Lubbock (same one Caed was in).

Please add this young man to your prayer list! He desperately needs a miracle. As we have seen first hand, prayer is SO POWERFUL!!! We give God the credit for Caed's healing, and we believe He can do the same in Tanner's life as well.

You can keep updated with Tanner's progress by visiting a website:

www. carepages.com

(you will have to register, but it doesn't cost a thing. Once you have registered, you will need a password to view Tanner's page. It is:

Tanner24

Thank you so much!! God is already answering our prayers as Tanner is slowly making progress. However, he has a long road ahead of him. As a mother who has experienced sitting by your son's ICU bedside and watching him "breath" through a ventilator.....I am hurting for Sandy (his mom). There is such an incredible helpless feeling that you have. Those early days were tough.......as I know they are for his parents and brother.

But, God is Faithful!!!! He WILL bring them through..........................stronger!

Refreshed

A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.
(Proverbs 11:25)



A morning I have needed for so long.....................

Time with one of my very best friends..........

An hour long massage........................

Time to simply "get away" from it all.........................



Thank you Jennifer and Shelton! You will never know how much I appreciate this. It was exactly what I needed, and I love you both!!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Powerful words in a checkout line

Many things occurred this week that quite frankly were just not on my "to do" list. First and foremost, attending my grandmother's funeral. Something I never expected just a short week ago. However, the Lord was especially gracious during this time. He used her death to reach others and was glorified through it. God's presence was truly there. The service and time spent with family was wonderful. Yet again, even through this............He taught me many things. I was able to spend 24 hrs. in my Granny's home. Something I am SO grateful I had the opportunity to do. I will share another time some of those neat things the Lord showed me.

My heart continues to be heavy today. Many things that right now.....I just cannot write about, but will simply say I was reminded today that God's Word is powerful! It is sharper than a doubled edged sword. Today as I was standing in a long checkout line at Walmart, He spoke. So clearly. And to me!

Choose you this day whom you will serve...........but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15)

Choose you this day.......

Choose you this day.....

Over and over, CHOOSE YOU THIS DAY!!!!

I knew satan was attacking. Getting me down. Instead of being joyful, counting my blessings, making the most out of my day, he was whispering lies into my head. Causing me to forget God's goodness. His faithfulness. His love.

And that's exactly what I believe we have to do EVERY SINGLE DAY.....and most likely many times throughout the day. CHOOSE CHRIST!

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Philippians 4:8

My prayer is that amidst the hustle and bustle. The noise. The crowds. The busyness. The stress of the holiday season, we would stop long enough to just listen.............. Listen to His voice. What amazing and wonderful things He wishes to tell us. To remind us. To teach us. If we would but only STOP and LISTEN!!!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

My gift

Today is my birthday. It was a wonderful day. Nothing over the top happened. Just an ordinary day filled with dear friends and my precious family. Earlier this evening I caught myself thinking, "This was a great birthday! What I desire more than any gift is just to be with my family, and that I got."

But, I received something else today. A call from my parents saying my Granny had gone to be with Jesus. The initial heart ache. The sorrow. The tears. However, the more I listened, the more my heart was filled with joy. What a wonderful birthday present! My Granny got to meet Jesus today. Something she asked for repeatedly. "Just let me go. I want to go home."

My Granny was one of the Godliest women I knew. She was so faithful. So wise. So giving. She deeply loved the Lord. I want to be just like her!!! I wonder if she ever knew the impact she had on my life. The example she was to me. I am forever grateful for the heritage of faith she was apart of. She and her husband taught my dad about the Lord, lived it out.........and in turn, he continues to teach me the same.

And did I mention she was a mighty prayer warrior? I don't think any of us (family) truly will ever know just how much she prayed for us. Just over the last 9 months, I know she covered Caed with intense prayer. She wrote me a beautiful letter while he was in his sickest days. The power in her words. The plea to God for Him to heal Caed and in so doing be glorified.

I could write for hours about my Granny. Just the memories. The way she loved music and would praise God through it. How she would play the piano (or her accordian) with her 2 sons on their guitars. The singing. The laughter. The homemade rolls! And let's not forget the infamous teacakes!!!! I don't think I got much of her musical talent (unlike several of the others), but a few things I did would be her love for pictures and also letter writing. She and I wrote back and forth for many, many years. I remember when I was about 10-12 years old, she told me, "Lori, I believe you're going to be a writer when you grow up." I thought she was crazy. I hated 'Writing' in school. However, I did love to write letters (and journal). I guess I'm still doing it to this day. The means have definitely changed from cutesy Hello Kitty stationary, address labels, and stamps to laptop computers and blogs. But, apparently she saw something in me such a long time ago.

My dad shared with me that not even an hour before her passing, he was pleading with God "to be gracious to her!" And that He did. He did not allow her to suffer too long. Oh! How God has waited for this day. To welcome her home!!! What a wonderful reunion is taking place. Her first husband died when I was only a year old. 35 years she has longed to see my PawPaw again. Not to mention her mother and father and other family members. What a glorious day this turned out to be!!!!!

The Lord blessed her with such a wonderful life. Loving family. Friends too numerous to count. A heart for ministry. Good health. And many talents (which she used for HIM!!) I feel overly blessed myself tonight. God chose a very special woman to be my grandmother. She lived out her faith and challenged me to do the same. I will miss her dearly! I will miss everything about her. But, in the same breath........how happy I am knowing that today she is in heaven praising God.........fully restored and with her loved ones.

"The Lord gives...........and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" On Dec. 7, 1972, He gave life to me. He gave a young husband and wife the surprise of their life when they were told, "It's a GIRL!!" Now, 36 years to the day later.............He gave LIFE to my Granny. Some would say it ended this evening.

We all know better. Her life is just beginning................................

For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16

Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. John 14:1-3

I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Less is more

And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

God used our time in Nebraska to teach me many, many things. However, one that has stood out to me the most since we've been home is the old familiar saying................Less is more!

As hard as it was at times living in that little one room with 2 of my kids for almost 3 months, wow!......I sure learned a simplified version of living. As I've stated before, I definitely missed the conveniences of home (bathtub, full size frig/freezer/comfortable bed/stove), however, the Lord used the Lied and our time there to tangibly show me................Less is more!

The kids and I had just enough clothes there to get us through.....there were just enough toys to keep them busy and happy.......there were just enough dishes to get us through the day....and just enough room to stretch our legs. Now, that we are home, I can't begin to tell you how many times a day I am doing dishes, laundry, and tripping over thousands of toys. We have too much stuff!

I would not label myself a 'pack-rat' by any means, but yes, I do have that tendency (especially with clothes) to think....."Maybe someday, I will lose weight and be able to fit into all these again." or "You just never know when someone is going to throw an 80's party, and we will need these clothes." ha! Even with the kids' toys. Sometimes it is easy to throw things out, but others hold sentimental value. Just yesterday I found myself going through Reagan's drawers and was finding tiny little socks. And, then, got so excited when I came across her very first bathing suit!!! Why in the world did I hang on to that? She is 8!!

Just coming off of our NE stay is helping me "depart" with many things. I am remembering how we made it just fine with the little we had. The kids were happy, and I promise you.....used their imagination much more while playing. They did not whine and complain for fancy toys, just naturally found other "fun" things to do with what we had.

Have you ever been on a mission trip or heard someone who has come and talk about their experience? I have yet to hear a "mission trip testimony" where these words were not used:
"The people had nothing.....literally swept their dirt floors.....if they were fortunate they had a pair of shoes.....and yet, they were HAPPY! To see the joy in their faces was astounding!"
I have been on several trips like this and remember coming home and having to readjust to our American culture. Our greedy, unsatisfied, spoiled culture! To see the hundred different brands of toothpaste to choose from in the gro. store.......these people would give anything to just have a tube.....any tube.



It definitely opens your eyes in a way you can never imagine. However, as the days pass, and then weeks, and years......we forget. We get caught up in our normal "I deserve to get whatever I want" attitude. We begin competing with "The Jones'." Trying to stay one step ahead.

This is not easy. It is most certainly a battle! I believe God truly has blessed us by allowing us to live in America. It is a wonderful country, and I am proud! However, the truth is....we ARE spoiled.

The Lied Transplant Center can not be compared to a 3rd world country, but for this family.....maybe so. Maybe it took "getting down to the basics" to open my eyes once again. I pray that God will use it to remind me the next time I'm walking the aisles of Target or the mall. "Is this something we really need or just simply want?"

I am also aware this revelation is coming to me at a very purposeful time.....Christmas. We decided to only put up a very small tree this year....no stockings....no lights....no decorations. The reason was simply because of our "move" back home. I knew I would have so many other things to do, and worrying about the Christmas decor would only add stress. Did you know Reagan and Caed have said nothing! They were excited to put up the little tree, but have yet to ask about their stockings or the other. I love it!! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas! I love seeing all the lights and decor everywhere. However, I have not missed for a second the stress (and $) that it involves. I wanted this year to be meaningful. To simplify. To try to focus solely on what Christmas truly is.........a celebration of salvation! I know we can do that AND get into the holiday spirit with all the decor, the endless parties, and gift giving. But, for me, this year.......I can't. I need to be home. I need to focus on my family. I need to reflect on this past year. I need to be reminded that "Less is truly more!!!!"

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

The big 4-0

This morning Todd took Caed to his weekly dr. appt. He gained about 8 ounces the last 10 days.....which means he has officially left the "30's". He weighed in at 40.4 lbs!! Praise God! His blood draw went well, I guess. We will wait tomorrow for the results. Don't expect anything to be out of whack. Caed is still going strong.

I also was on the phone most of the afternoon trying to find a Pedi Endochrinologist. The ones I tried do not take our insurance, and when I called Children's Dallas, the quickest they can see him is April. Not sure Nebraska will want to wait that long. Our GI dr. there said his growth hormone level was irretracable, and was in the works trying to get him started ASAP. So, another call went out to the IRP in NE. I will hopefully hear something tomorrow.

Another praise is that we finally got our home infusion started here through Option Care Dallas. We should get our first shipment of meds and supplies tonight. Hopefully!!!!!!!! We are running low.

It's amazing how difficult it can be trying to get everything transferred. (drugs, med supply company, drs, etc.....) However, for the most part....everyone has been very nice and is helping us as best they can. I definitely have felt a peace knowing things are slowly falling into place.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Family

Only 48 hours................and yet it seemed like a year. We left my parents' house Sat. afternoon, and by 9:00 last night, they were here with us in Celina! Now, before you get the wrong idea and think they just couldn't stay away from Caleb (partly true...ha!), they came simply to stay the night. It was either here with us or a hotel. I think we all knew that the hotel just wouldn't cut it.

My dad's mom (Gwen) is in a Tyler hospital (about 130 miles away). She is having open heart surgery as I type (Tue. morning). Please keep her in your prayers. I really can't even begin to describe her. She is one in a million!! A Godly woman with SUCH wisdom. Normally the dr. said he would not consider doing this surgery on an 88 yr. old, but because she is in overall "good health," he feels she will do just fine. However.....it is open heart surgery, so we just pray they will be able to repair the damage and she can recover as smoothly as possible.

When my parents walked through the front door, Caleb made a bee line straight for them!! I know he missed them both so much!! He just kept going from one to the other....just couldn't get enough. My mom was even able to rock him to sleep before bedtime. Something I'm sure they both needed. It was kinda hard for Reagan and Caed to understand Nana & Grandaddy weren't getting to stay. (they left back out this morning at 4 am) However, just the few hours we could see them last night was wonderful. Might seem odd to some people how much we have already missed them after only 48 hrs. apart (not to mention the year spent in Idalou). And if that is the case, then you don't know my parents! I love them so much and enjoy any and all time spent together. They simply brighten my spirits. Yes, they will always be my "mom and dad," but more importantly, they have become "my friend." It has been hard being away from our family the last 7 years. But, what joy this past year brought being able to see everyone (Todd's family too) on a daily basis. God knew being close to OUR FAMILY was crucial for us during this difficult time.

Just seeing that familiar face, reminiscing old stories, laughing together, crying together, supporting you no matter what, always giving Godly counsel, and loving you unconditionally...that's what my family is all about. I AM BLESSED! I know it. I do not take it for granted. And I thank GOD daily for the undeserving gift that He has given me through my family.............every single member!! I love each and every one of you!!!

Surgery update

**Granny's surgery went well. Lasted about 5 hrs. My dad said they were getting her moved to ICU, and they will go in to see her later. Thanks for your prayers!!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Home sweet home

Finally......we are officially all home! It has been a surreal morning with all 3 kids here. I know this sounds crazy, but the past 24 hrs. have truly felt as though we adopted Caleb. He is learning us again, and we are learning him. He has also been a very busy little boy exploring his new surroundings. I know it will take some time for everyone to adjust to our "new life, " but I am excited. The Lord has been so faithful to us this year, and I know He has wonderful things in store for us in the coming one.

In a week's time we have..........."moved twice".......traveled over 1300 miles.....and "added" baby #3. We are all exhausted and a little overwhelmed. (but in a good way) Our house is full of suitcases, bags, coolers, and boxes. However, my feelings today are different than from this time last week. I am excited and ready to tackle them all. I am not stressing over getting everything done....I know it won't for quite a while. But, little by little we will get settled again.

Caleb is still struggling with his "sickness." He has been on an antibiotic for several days now, but yesterday began coughing some and his little "voice" is all but gone. We decided to keep him home this morning. Plus, the other two were exhausted as well. I'm sure some much needed rest will be good for us all.


Saying that it was hard leaving Idalou yesterday is the understatement of the year! My parents have all but raised Caleb from day one. It's always difficult saying our goodbyes, but THIS TIME was very different. I can't even begin to go into the emotions that we all felt. Something that I cannot write about. Please just keep my parents and Todd's mom in your prayers. There is a void in their hearts that will take awhile to fill.

This entire ordeal (w/ Caleb) has so many dynamics that have truly been as difficult as some of the things we have gone through with Caed. A mommy that was still hurting from surgery had to give up her newborn to be with her son as he was fighting for his life. There was enormous peace in her heart knowing he was in the best of hands, however the pain of not being able to see him was almost too much at times. Would he even remember her? Then.....on the other side, there was a Nana & Grandaddy that put their own lives on hold, moved a crib into their bedroom and began having to parent a newborn baby. Midnight feedings, dr. appointments, teething, crawling.....all that comes during the first 10 months (alot!!) Then....the day arrived when that baby had to go back home with his Mommy and Daddy and brother and sister. The pain!!! This time the Nana & Grandaddy were having to "give up" their baby. The Mommy felt as though she was ripping their heart wide open. How she LONGED for this moment to finally get her baby back, but the guilt that went along with it. She had been away for so long. Did she even deserve to get him back? As the baby and his family drove away, the tears fell for miles. Why God? Why does the pain continue?

I know all will be ok. I know my parents will go on. Life will begin again for us all. I am eternally grateful for them (as well as my grandmother, Aunt Megan, Katie, Great Granny, MeMe, and Leann) for watching him. For loving him. For meeting every need. For filling the "void" of not having his Mommy or Daddy there for him. We will NEVER be able to express how much we love each of you and thank you from the bottom of our hearts for what you have done for us during the most difficult time of our life (thus far).



enjoying some of his new toys



only the 2nd time he has been in his highchair



exploring his brother's room



exploring some more..........



playing together!!

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Taste and see.....

Thanksgiving.......

We have been told over and over again....."Boy, do you and your family have lots to be thankful for this year!" And they are right! Yes, we have endless blessings that God has poured out to us. But....this year is not special. God did not give us an "extra helping" this time. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. He is the same GOOD, FAITHFUL, LOVING, MERCIFUL, SOVEREIGN, and HOLY God today as He was March 1st. When things are good, we usually have lots to be thankful for.....thus loving this holiday. However, when times are tough, we generally get a selfish attitude and shake our fist at God. "How could You possibly be allowing this in my life?" I continually am learning from Todd, but one truth in particular is this: We are not to be thankful to God simply for what all He has done for us.....but rather, solely for WHO HE IS!!!!

Sure, it IS easy to thank Him when times are good. Right now in our life...things are wonderful! Caed is healing, we are home, and now can enjoy being together as a family. I have SO MUCH to be thankful for! I couldn't even begin to scratch the surface if I started making a list right now. But, I have been thinking a lot the last few weeks, we probably would not be hearing the all-familiar comment, "Y'all sure have a lot to be thankful for this year!" if we were still in Nebraska....or if Caed was lying up in a hospital bed.....or our family was continuing to be separated. It is true. That's just the way our human mind works. Good times call for great thanksgiving. But, how about thanking Him for the "not-so-good" times? (boy is this a hard thing to do!!) If we could only have the eternal heavenly viewpoint that God does? If we could only see how our "tough times" are actually those moments He is refining us....making us more like His Son. If we could only see the big picture, and see how this "trial" is but one piece of a beautiful puzzle. I do not have this down!! Trust me.....when things are bad, I quickly find myself with my head stuck in the sand. Worrying and depressed. I believe this is one of those disciplines that we should strive towards here on earth (truly giving thanks in ALL circumstances), but realizing we will never fully attain it because of our sinful nature. It will be a constant battle.

I have no idea the things that you have faced this past year. This could have been one of those "blessing filled" ones! Praise God! However, if it's like ours.....it might have been filled with lots of pain. Whether you are on the "other side" of your trial or smack dab in the middle of it, I pray that today (Thanksgiving), we would THANK HIM for our trials. Recognizing HE is in control.....He loves us (his children) and truly is working ALL things out for GOOD!!!! If we would only believe......................................

Taste and see that the LORD is GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Psalm 34:8)

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Reunited and it feels so good

The road from Celina to Idalou (6 hrs.) was the longest I think we have ever been on! It was excruciating. We were getting so close to seeing Caleb, and yet the hours just seemed to go so slow. Finally.....we arrived! My parents and Caleb were in Lubbock, so we drove there to meet them. Caleb initially started crying because I think he was so overwhelmed. He had all these new people up in his face screaming for him.....ha! When we put him in our car, I felt like I had just kidnapped some little baby or that we had just adopted him or something. Hard to explain.

We had got tickets for the West Texas Polar Express tonight in Lubbock. The kids have been counting the days and were so excited for it to finally be here. So, literally, we meet my parents on the side of the road.....say a quick hello.....grab Caleb.....and off to board the train. I'm sure other people who were sitting beside us wondered why we kept "doting" on Caleb so much! ha! If they only knew!!!

The train ride was wonderful. Reagan and Caed had so much fun. If you have read the book or seen the movie.....then you have an idea what took place. The kids were encouraged to come in their pj's. The conductor came around and punched their tickets, they served cookies and hot chocolate, we sang Christmas carols, traveled to the "North Pole" and then Santa boarded the train and gave all the children a beautiful gold bell. It was really neat. A wonderful memory and especially for our family at this time.

This morning before we left Celina (as we were packing) Caed began crying that his head was hurting. This was the 3rd time in the last month that he has had a bad headache. I gave him Tylenol, told him to lay down on the couch, and even got a cool cloth and rubbed his forehead (seemed to work the other 2 times this happened in NE). The crying went on for about an hour and then all of a sudden he throws up! (A LOT!!!) I truly do not think there will ever be a time that he throws up that we don't get scared to death. Caed hasn't thrown up since we went to NE. It was just such a shock. I immediately thought it might be some "bug." Just from being around everyone at church Sunday, I thought he might have gotten something there. However, we are now leaning to it simply being headache related. After he threw up, he was totally fine. We're wondering if it wasn't a migraine possibly. I will discuss it with NE the next time they call. Caed has never struggled with headaches, but now this is the 3rd bad one this month. We have no idea. Anyway, we're just glad he got ok, and we were able to go ahead with the trip. I was sure questioning God. "How can this be happening NOW....we're supposed to go see Caleb today!!!" Thank you Lord that it all worked out ok, and we DID indeed get to see our Caleb boy!
He sure had changed!!



First family picture in a longgggg time!