Yet another curve ball

The last day of September. I thought this day would mean our time in "Cornhusker Country" was coming to a close. However, the Lord may have different plans.

Our clinic appt. actually went really well today! Get this! Caed ended up not gaining a pound this week................He gained almost 2!!!! ha! We were all so shocked by this. What in the world happened? He still has c-diff, and his stools continue to be around 7-8x/day. The only things that are different from last week are his diet and also the new ORS drink. Regardless of 'how' he gained, we are just praising God for those 2 extra pounds. The dr. said he is in the 10th percentile in height and 15% in weight. They are very pleased. All his lab numbers are looking great too.

Our next step is to: begin weaning him off the IV fluids he gets at night. They also want to advance slowly this week in the rehab of tube feedings. (this past week we did nothing while trying to get rid of c-diff). We will go very slowly and if he begins 'stooling out' they want me to stop. We will also continue the new antibiotic (Vancomycin) and PRAY it does the trick with the c-diff.

They believe Caed is doing so well, they are already making plans to take his central line out! This is such a big deal!!! However, a lot has to happen before that occurs. Mainly....he needs to continue gaining weight or at least maintaining and his numbers (primarily CO2 level) needs to stay in the normal range as they wean him off the IV fluids. This is SUCH great news! Thank you God!!!

However....now for the bad. With this "new plan" comes more weeks here in NE. They are thinking we will need to stay here until the end of Oct. The end result (no central line) is our goal and they think it can happen in the next 4 weeks. For Caed and his health, this is wonderful. For a Mommy and little brother who miss their family SO SO much....this was awful news. I left clinic this morning with mixed up emotions. On one hand, I was thrilled with Caed's progress. On the other, I wanted to curl up in the corner and cry my eyes out! How can we keep this up for 4 more weeks? Do you know how much babies change in a 2 months time? I came back to the room.....cried a little (ok....actually ALOT!), and realized that although this was such a huge shock to Todd and I, it was no surprise to God. He knew before we ever got on the plane in Lubbock how long we would be gone. It's sure a good thing I didn't. I don't think I would have agreed to it had I known how big of a commitment this was actually requiring. However, just like the past 7 months.....God only gives us what we need to make it through each day. There's no way we could make it in life if we saw the "big picture." That's what makes 'faith'.....faith. I know He will continue to get us through 30+ more days..........

After talking it over with Todd, we decided he needs to come up this weekend. We desperately need to see him! He will drive up Thurs......leave the car for us, and then fly back Tues. sometime after Caed's clinic appt. Then, I talked with my mom and plans are possibly in the works for Reagan and Caleb to come up later as well for a few days. I think this will be good, and help both Caed and I these next 4 weeks in giving us some great things to look forward to. It will sure help to break up the time. I have yet to mention to him about Reagan & Caleb coming until I know for sure it's going to happen. I know he will be bouncing off the walls with excitement! (as will I!!!!) This Mommy desperately NEEDS to see her other 2 babies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You know, just when I feel I have this whole thing figured out and 'think' I know the ending, God throws a curve ball. Sure a good way to keep me on my toes. Today has been a hard day emotionally for me. I thought I was hitting a wall these past few days.....just missing Todd, Reagan, and Caleb SO much!!

I am amazed at how many things God continues to teach me through all this. Through every surgery and medical procedure, through 72 days spent living at the hospital, through not getting to see my 2 other children much, through aching day in day out having to watch my child suffer, through being 'separated' from Todd this summer as we were in Idalou, and now through being further 'separated' from my family here in NE. Why God? Why did you allow this all to happen in our lives? Why have we yet to experience 'normal' life as a family of 5? What is Your purpose? I don't understand....................

And I never fully will. At least on this side of heaven. Is it absolutely necessary that I know it all and understand it? No. God never said that was my job. But, what He did say was to simply "Trust him." Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in Me. (John 14:1) I do know that 'God's ways are not our ways neither are His thoughts our thoughts.' (Isaiah 55:8) And boy am I thankful for that! I'm certain I would mess things up in a heartbeat. He has been SO faithful throughout this, why, why, why do I take my eyes off Him and begin to worry? He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6) Just because I don't "see" what God is doing, doesn't mean He isn't here!

Thank you all for continuing to pray for Caed! As I watched him "play baseball" the other day.....I was amazed at how far he actually has come! Just 7 months ago, he was laying in the ER fighting for his life. And how close he came............. Now, after all this time, he is alive and well and thriving. (even though it may be slow) I have considered so many of you to be my mighty prayer warriors. God gave me a new picture tonight. Instead of all these individuals, we truly have an ARMY!!!! Strength is great in numbers. Thank you for sticking by us, for supporting us in so many ways, and for not giving up. Perseverance is not easy. Thank you that we have not had to go at this alone. It's neat to think how He has used this 'army' to meet SO many needs. Some of you met urgent ones in the beginning.....watching Reagan and Caleb, bringing baby clothes because Caleb had outgrown the few he had there in Lubbock, bringing Todd and I food up at the hospital, or just simply sending a card or stopping by for a visit. Many of you met a need by sending Caed gifts and toys (little things that were so needed for this little boy who was undergoing a major trauma). Food was brought out to my parents' house in Idalou, airplane vouchers were given, along with overwhelming financial support! Then, as the days turned into months and Caed was finally allowed to "go home," you didn't stop. Many of you continued to stop off and visit us there in Idalou. You invited us to "fun, kid things" to help Caed try to resume a little bit of normalcy. You took Reagan in and loved her like she was one of your own. You watched Caleb so my mom or I could have a break. You supported Todd being gone a few days a week from his job so he could come see us. You were a listening ear. You mowed our yard, you cleaned our house, you brought food. Some of you sent cards/emails or posted comments on the blog that always encouraged us. You offered to help in MORE WAYS than we could ever take you up on. You sold candles, you gave..... You met us at the airport, invited us to dinner, took us to our 1st rodeo, and have become our "Nebraska mom & dad." I am completely overwhelmed at even trying to remember ALL the thousands of ways our ARMY has stood behind us and fought this fight with us. We could never even come close to mentioning all the ways YOU have blessed us! Yes, we have truly been blessed............ but it is GOD who does the ultimate blessing. We know that not a one has been forgotten by Him. He saw YOU. He saw Your heart and the many sacrifices you made. Even though we personally may never be able to truly thank each and every person who touched us through this experience, we know God knows who you are, and that HE will bless you unfold!!!