I struggled again today. Not sure why exactly. Just feeling somewhat overwhelmed. It's also very difficult "starting over" with all of Caed's care. I can't tell you how many people from the hospital or Option Care or social workers, etc....have called or I have talked to in person that I have had to "tell all!" It just gets hard telling it because with each question comes a Mommy's heart reliving it all. I spent about 30 minutes just this morning with someone from the hospital needing Caed's "medical history." ughhhh! I have to admit I got a little annoyed with some of the questions: (even though I know she was just doing her job...and for that I am thankful) "How did Caed's reflux go away?" Well....I'm not sure. Was it the medicine he was on for all those months or did his stomach just begin healing? "What all medications has he been on?" I replied, "how much time do you have?" I honestly think I'm just
tired....after the past 7 months.....and ALL Caed and my family have been through....missing my Caleb....and staring an unknown future right in the face. I am very down right now. I know where my help comes from.....I know God will not give me more than I can handle....I know He has Caed in the palm of His hands.....I know He has an incredible future in store for my family.....I know sweet Caleb is in great hands.......BUT,
I am tired and weary!!!!! Like I said yesterday, here we are....appearing as a family on vacation. Yes, we are doing some fun things, but I am struggling to enjoy them, to find any good in them. I know I am wrong. I know I have SO much to be thankful for. I'm just tired and worn out. Pray for the Lord to RENEW my strength and joy!!!! He has done so many many times for me these past 7 months, I know He is faithful still.
We had a pretty relaxing day today. We were able to sleep in a bit, which was very nice. We didn't leave our room until almost 3:00. After we ate lunch, we let the kids go back to the water park. We stayed there until about 8:30 and now we currently are getting to watch the Tech game! What a surprise when we found that on tv!! We see all the water is gone from the field. Also got word from some friends in Edna. They were spared with Ike. Praise God!
We plan on going to church in the morning. Todd began talking with a guy in the mall and he works with the youth in his church. He invited us. Cordell and Carol have also extended the invitation to theirs as well. Not sure what we'll do in the morning. I'm sure since we'll be here several Sundays, we can do both.
Got milk?
6 comments:
I wish there was a better, more effective way to say "Hang in there", but if there is, I don't know it. We love you very much. You and your family are continuously on our minds and in every prayer. You've probably been told this a million times, but just RELEASE a little. Not gas.......burden. I know it must be hard. Our God is a GOOD God. His ways are GOOD. Not at all dainty or teddy bear like. He knows what you need and when you need to have it. So.........."Hang in there!" BTW, I'm not impuning your feelings whatsoever. Please don't elude to that!! Love yall!
Lord,
You know all of Lori's needs! Only you understand all she is going through and how she is being attacked. Fill her thoughts with you and fill her heart with your love. Bring encourgement into her life and help her stand firm. Give her the strength to stand. I pray that they would be in a church that speaks your truth. May your truth fall upon their ears and breath new life for the week. You are so faithful to give us what we need when we are weary. Help Lori's mind to be protected and to be filled with your truth. Bless the socks off this precious family and may we all see just how faithful you are once again, to renew a right spirit. May they lie down in peace and sleep. Help them to wake up rested and rejuvinated for the next day. New mercies for the day! Heal and restore Caed, and I pray that this family will be a light in this dark world. Help them see how they can influence the lost world. Amen!
Go back to your track days... take the baton and run. You have done it so many times before. You are strong in your faith and God wants to be glorified! He knows you will give Him all the glory. We all love you and will pray... can't wait to see Him answer!
Lori,
All of your feelings, frustations, and questions are so normal for the mother a sick little one. Hold on to Jeremiah 29:11 and claim if for Caed. Praying for you all.
Dear Lori....sitting here with a heavy heart, feeling your pain, and asking God to wrap you in his arms...and once again, give you HIS strength and to renew your spirit. I know this is the hardest thing you have had to face (mostly, because you are missing your sweet Caleb, your parents, and your other support systems). God, we are so VERY thankful for Caed's improvement, yet it is so hard for Lori to have to "relive" the past months by telling his story over and over again. Lord, be with her each step of the way...and give her heart and soul a peace that only you can give. Always praying for you and asking God that the weeks ahead be short, but above all, be the "healing time" that brings Caed home well!
Still here... still praying. Sending my love to you all.
In His love,
Carolyn O'Cain
Lori,
I am Tana's friend in Lubbock. I just want you to know I am praying for you and Cade everytime I am praying for Kensley. I don't know how you and Tana handle what you are going through. I have 4 daughters and can't imagine having to be away from them for so long. I hope Cade gets good results in Omaha like Kensley is getting. So just know we have Cade's picture on our computer and are praying for that hansome little boy of yours!
Mitzi
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