After being here these past 6 weeks, so many emotions fill my heart. We are overwhelmed by all the love, support, prayers, etc....! Like I've said before, I don't know how we could have made it without all of you! However, there's many other emotions not so positive. I almost can get sick to my stomach looking at Caed and seeing ALL that he has had (and continues) to go through. If only we could take all this away from him! I think back to Caed pre-March 1st. He had such energy, life, and humor! Now we predominately just see pain, anguish, and fear. We have wondered what he will be like when all this is behind us. How much will he remember? Will there be a day when our lives are "back to normal?" The answer to that is probably yes and no. We will get through this and know that the normal "daily grind" will also return at some point. However, I can't help but believe things WILL be different. This experience has changed us, and we will never be the same. I'm sure that was one of God's purposes for allowing this in our lives. Lord...help us not to ever forget how your hand was in this before time began, and this experience was NEEDED in our lives to teach us things we would never have "gotten" otherwise.
Last night as I watched Caed sleep, I began to long for our home, a sink full of dirty dishes and piles of laundry. I MISS having to get up through the night to feed Caleb and the exhausted feeling you get in the morning; I MISS having that special time with Reagan each day when we do her schoolwork and seeing her get excited after she's learned something new; I MISS the mornings when it's only Caed and I awake, and we rock in the chair and watch cartoons together; I MISS hearing Reagan and Caed arguing in the other room, and then tiptoeing in at night and listening to their "serious" talks up in Reagan's bed. I MISS seeing them play in the cul-de sac with Haley and the Owen girls. I MISS Caed going to get Sat. morning donuts with Daddy while still in his pajamas and house shoes. I MISS our nightly family prayer time and the bedtime rituals that follow;......................and on and on...............................................................
You know the old saying, "You don't know what you have 'til it's gone." Todd and I are experiencing some of that in a real way. Each and every one of our lives have been turned upside down! Tonight Todd took Reagan out to eat and she cried about missing our home. She obviously wasn't just referring to our physical house, but rather our family being back together again! (and her world returning to normal). Today Caleb had his 2 mo. checkup with a pediatrician here in the hospital. I was really looking forward to it. I ended up not being able to go because Caed was so sick at the time of the appt. My mom and sister-n-law took him and were able to answer all the questions that I would not have been able. I had a "melt-down" at that time, and cried asking God, "WHY?" Why has this happened to Caed? Why has our family been ripped apart like this? I still don't know the answer and we may not ever fully know God's purpose for allowing it. But, I continue to be comforted by God's promise that He knows the plans He has for us, not to harm us, but to give us a hope and a future. HE is all we can cling to right now. Things are so uncertain around us, and yet HE promises to be our ROCK!!! If we can just learn to rest in Him. (especially in the moments our bodies are exhausted and our spirits are full of anxiety)
Thank you for praying for us! Sometimes we ourselves don't even know what to pray. I am learning in those times to just be quiet and still, and KNOW that HE IS GOD!!!!!
Reagan brightened up Caed's day with some
"Scooby Snacks." ( he only ate that one!)
Caed wanted to push his little brother
down the hall
Caleb 2 months - dr. said he was doing great!
5 comments:
Lori & Todd...just want to let you know i just lifted you up in prayer. my mother's heart feels so deeply for what you are going through right now. And Caed, you are such a brave, strong boy! One of my favorite camp songs plays in my head every time I pray for you...it is straight from the Bible and confirms God's promise to always be with us...
Fear not, for I AM WITH YOU
Fear not, for I AM WITH YOU
Fear not, for I AM WITH YOU
says the Lord.
I will be with you
I have called you by name and you are mine.
When you walk through the fire I will be there
and through the flame
you'll not be harmed
you'll not be burned
for I am with you.
FEAR NOT!
We'll keep praying!
love,
miss jojo
Checking in at 2:00 am.
Lord, we are in a marathon it seems. We seem to be halfway there and have conquered so much to get to this place. But in it all, we are exhausted and wonder if we really can go on.
We are desperate for you oh God. We have learned when we are at the lowest, the enemy comes in like a flood.
Lori, as I read and feel your pain of emotions, the Lord is reminding me, it was at that 40 day mark when Jesus was at break point when Satan came in to negotiate his power.
Jesus took our place and as he died on the cross to complete his destiny, he took our place and was our substitute to be released from the chains of bondage.
some times i too miss thoughs days where we are playing football, baseball, or soccer. i miss jumping on the trampoline. but we can never give up hope that caed WILL come home he WILL get better i just know it. one day you will all be back to gether again and it will be wonderful.there are somany days when you want to ask why? but it is all for a purpose it is all for his glory. i miss u guys so much. iluv u addie
Oops, Lori, I hit the enter key before I could edit that first comment.
Thank you dear Addie as I was seeking the Lord for the right words of encouragement. Here you come to rescue me with your wisdom. You have such a sweet heart. God is going to use you mightily when Caed comes home. You wait and see.
My mother's heart is right there beside you Lori, wanting to make it all right. To encourage you, for the destiny God has in your life as well as Caed's life. It is all consuming but we know with the Lord, we are victorious.
Lord, our hearts are full needing the comfort only you can give. We come to you now in this flood of emotions as the enemy wants to rob our joy and keep us down.
We pray specifically for Lori as she stands in the gap to strengthen her as well as Caed. Lord, I am asking your angels to come even now to minister to Lori and Caed in that room. We speak again complete healing to Caed's body as the additional antibiotics have been added to restore normal flora in his body.
Lord, we are asking for much wisdom and discernment from the doctors as they continue to assist Caed. Give them eyes to see and ears to hear as from you. We speak completeness and wholeness to Caed's physical body. We stand on the miracle you have promised us.
We come into your court to worship you, we will praise you for the works you have already done. We bow down and honor you. At the sound of your voice, and just as the song goes, we will shout to the Lord. We will sing for joy to the works of your hand. My comfort, my shelter, tower of refuge. Let every prayer never seek to worship you. Mountains bow down at the sound of your name. Forever we'll love you and forever we'll stand. Nothing compares to the promise we have in you. Amen.
Much love and hugs,
Nancy, Randy, Hillary and Matt
Oh Lori, How my heart aches that Caed has to go through this and your family. I want to be selfish and tell GOD send him home. I miss all the kids in the circle laughing,running and spiderman coming to the door asking for his Addie. I know GOD has great plans of Caed but come on. We need Caed home in his bed, with his toys, with his family. My prayer for today is that God please show us the light, hope. That this little spriderman will be coming home soon. That you heal his spridie bodie. That soon he will be spinning his web back in Celina soon. We love this family. But we do trust in you Lord. That you will heal him, make even stronger then his was before. Please Lord bring this family home together. You are the creator and the one that sent his son to die for our sins. This spriderman is your child. He is in your hands from creation. So Lord please take care of him make him better. Amen The Owen Family
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