I have heard this little word more times than I can count in the last few weeks. Everyone who has been around Caed from day 1 keeps using it. "Boy, he is really making progress!!" Like my dad said the other night....you really don't see much change day-to-day, but week-to-week, most definitely! And especially in the last 2-3 weeks. It has been an enormous one!
The past 4 months have gone so slow.....and yet in ways, they have flown by! I went back and read our "Caed Book" (all blog postings), and was absolutely amazed. So much of it was too hard to read, as it made me relive those moments over again. However, I also couldn't believe how much progression you really could see with the turning of each page. It was slow, but progress none the less. I wanted to recap just a few of those moments:
March 1, 2008:
"...he threw up a couple of times and then began REALLY crying out w/ severe stomach pains. This went on for about 30 minutes, and by the look on his face we decided it was serious enough we needed to bring him into Lubbock to a clinic.......The surgery lasted over 3 hours and she (Dr. Goldthorn) came out and told us he had a condition known as a volvulus (twisting of the bowels and stomach). Blood vessels were also wrapped around it which had caused the internal bleeding. She took out 50% of his sm. intestine and and also part of his large.....she said it was a very serious condition and we were "lucky" (we say blessed) that we got to the hospital on time or it would have been fatal........"
March 10, 2008
"...he ran fever the entire day! Caed struggled again with pain alot today (always), and also the occasional throwing up bile. We did get him up out of bed to do his dreaded daily walk. He went to the hallway again and touched the wall of the nurses' station. He cried the whole way (as well as his Mamma)...Only minutes after we got him back to his bed, my phone rang. It was Caed's t-ball coach in Celina informing me of his 1st practice tomorrow. All I could do was cry!..."
March 16, 2008
"Well...what can I say, the last 24 hours have been extremely difficult. Caed was in pain constantly! They gave him medicine for it, which only knocked him out. So, if he wasn't sleeping, he was crying out in excrutiating pain!...Meanwhile, he threw up LOTS of straight bile!!..."
March 28, 2008
"Our GI dr. did go ahead with the nasal feeding tube. It goes all the way down into part of the sm. intestine. Caed was not happy when he came out of anesthesia. They had a big oxygen mask (covered his whole little face) and of course the nasal tube. He has been crying wanting it gone!..."
April 13, 2008
"Surgery at 1:30!!! Possible partial bowel obstruction. Dr. did not want to wait. Please pray all goes well..........."
April 24, 2008
"The times my heart breaks the most is when he is in pain and all he can cry out is "Mommy!"...It's excrutiating when he is looking at me with tears rolling down his checks begging me to help ease the pain!! I want so badly to tell him it's going to be ok and that I can help him. I can't...."
April 27, 2008
"Wow! What a day we've had! THANK YOU GOD....we talked to the drs. today about getting Caed a 4 hr. pass each day...We left the hospital about 3:00 and drove out to Idalou to Nana & Grandaddy's house. It was so good for him! He fed the fish in the pond, played golf, went downstairs in the basement to play air hockey, rode in the jeep, played soccer and baseball, and went for a ride down the street in his wagon. He did not speak a lot today, but we knew he was HAPPY!...."
"...Dr. Goldthorn asked me if I felt comfortable with bringing him home...I want to stress that he did not get dismissed because he is all well and doing so much better. He is doing fine, but we still have a long road ahead of us! Nothing with Caed has changed other than his address...His G-tube is still being drained; although we are clamping it a lot through the day. He is still on his TPN 19 hrs./day..."
May 14, 2008
"...So, with those 3 factors: lots of pain, 103 fever, and green drainage we decided to take him to the ER (2:30 am)...They decided to admit us back into the hospital so we could have some testing done..."
May 18, 2008
"There is another aspect of Caed's illness that we don't talk a whole lot about....We have known that he will most likely develop some post-traumatic stress from all this. I am not sure what Caed's screams are from. Is it anxiety, the pain, being "mad" that he's hurting, frustrated that he isn't able to do the normal things he used to do...?"
June 10, 2008
"Caed's day has not been too bad. He ran fever again around noon, but just low grade. Caed's bilirubin level is high (liver), which explains the yellow skin/eyes..."
June 17, 2008
"He ate today, not a lot, but was interested in it. Several times I would see him go to the kitchen and stare into the frig. I asked him if he was hungry and he said yes. That is a big change....we're just having to really watch WHAT he eats..."
June 24, 2008
"Today was a very good day! He only threw up once and that was 1st thing this morning. He ate several things (ALL of which stayed down!) Thank you God for giving us this encouragement..."
Now a visual reality of HOW FAR Caed has come!.................
Less than 2 weeks after the 1st surgery (3/12/08)
1st attempt with nasal feeding tube (3/29/08)
2nd time in ICU...this was after surgery #3 (4/14/08)
4 hr. pass - 1st time out to Nana
& Grandaddy's house (4/27/08)
1st trip HOME!!!! (6/21/08)
Dear God,
As we look and read through the journal entries of the last 4 months, we are absolutely speechless. What do we say?....YOUR hand is evident in the turning of each page. "What is man that YOU are mindful of him?... (Ps. 8:4)" You have lavished Your grace and mercy on us and we are humbled and eternally grateful. Please continue to use this experience in our lives. Don't allow us to forget....to get complacent...or allow a hint of pride into our hearts. YOU have carried us through this major storm and now the clouds are rolling back, the winds are dying down, and we are seeing the shoreline on the otherside. Thank you for not letting us go! Thank you for using this for YOUR glory! We pray that You would continue to work in Caed's life (specifically), get him ready to be used by YOU. We expect great things, and are in awe that You chose such a special little boy to be Your vessel. Hold Reagan and Caleb in Your arms...and use this also in their lives in ways we would never imagine. We give them all to YOU!!!
3 comments:
Lori,
I thank you that you have taken the time each day to share what Caed and you all have gone through. I would like to ask you two things, though -
1. In your prayer, you asked that God get Caed "ready to be used..." - He has been using this little boy. I can't imagine the hundreds - yes, hundreds, of lives he has touched - and that God has touched through him. It is not a future thing - God is using Him now.
2. I hope that you - you personally - are recording your thoughts. And I mean all of your thoughts - not just the praises to God, but the scary thoughts - the possibility in March of Caed dying, questioning God, maybe even being angry with Him. Do you see how that can be used by God? The world is full of people who are angry and who think the church is full of hypocrites. Your personal testimony can now include how you felt, especially at the lowest times, and how God has truly worked...how submission isn't very easy, but it's the best thing in the long run...how there's really a reason God only wants us to experience each day as it comes and not know what's in front of us. He understands that we can handle just so much.
Thank you again for your blog. People who never would have "known" Caed or your family are touched in deep parts of their lives with the struggle this little boy (and his family) has endured. But even more, I'm thankful you kept it for YOU. What a great example of how journaling works.
Father,
It's coming up on four months that Caed has been ill, and I thank You again for walking with - carrying - him and his family each step of the way. Father, You are using Caed; You are using Lori and the whole family. Thank You that while submission hasn't been easy, they do submit to You.
I thank You that You love this little boy more than his mom and dad, sister, brother, grandmas and grandpas, and all the myriad friends they have.
Your Word says that You are a jealous God; You want our full attention and devotion; and because of that, You pay attention to every single thing in our lives. Thank You, Father.
Continue Caed on his healing path, and continue to use him and his family day by day.
In Jesus' name,
Amen
Your prayer partner in Albuquerque,
Debbie
Yes indeed we can see how far Caed has come. Thank you Father that you are SO faithful and though we could only see the little picture at the time you could see the big one and even right now as Caed is still sick but continuing to get better Lord, you still see the big picture. Please help us to remain faithful as well. Thank you for ALL that you've done and will continue to do in Caed's life as well as the rest of the Hollingsworth family!
Love you guys so much
Hugs and kisses to all
Tina
Wow, what a witness! It was so great to see you all at VBS this week. Hope you are back to stay soon. We miss you all. Sorry so short--just in awe!
Craig, Amy, Mackenzie and Miles Teague
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