Words from my "Father"

I have never posted a "comment" before, but this one was different. Many of you probably don't make a habit of reading other people's comments, so I wanted to share this very special one. It was from my dad.

As I shared in today's post, this was a very hard day for me. Nothing unusual happened. We did not receive any bad news. Everybody was feeling great! But, emotionally today.....I was at the end of my rope. I have been here many times before in the last 8 months. I can't possibly go into all the feelings I had....all the frustrations....all the fears....all the unknowns. But, simply that all the strength I thought I had left was gone (in my mind). Many of you have told me or left comments about "how strong" I am. I just shake my head. You don't see the real me! You don't see the tears. You don't see the impatience and anxiety. You don't see the sinful, selfish Lori!! I want to be very clear here: As so many of you know in your own experiences....any "strength" we have is not from US to begin with!!!! It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33 I believe it is in times like today, times when I feel I can't go on.....these are the times I have taken my eyes OFF HIM and instead fixed them on my circumstances. As I already stated earlier, this evening was so good for me. The Lord used some dear sweet friends to encourage me. But, that wasn't all. After I got the kids in bed, I came to check my email and the blog one last time before going to bed myself. As I scrolled down (and kept scrolling and kept scrolling) I was thinking "who in the world sent such a long comment?" Then, I saw the word DADDY. My heart stopped. I quickly grabbed a chair and knew I was fixing to not only hear from my dad, but also from MY FATHER!!!! It was a reminder right then and there that HE WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME! On such a difficult day like today.....HE once again provided. Thank you!

Dear Todd & Lori,

It's 11:00 Monday evening and I just read "constant reminders" for the "third" time today. Each time it made me recall many of those same moments you wrote about, and the memories made me cry those same tears all over again, and again, and again. But I want to tell you of how the Lord also reminded me of something this morning. As I was driving to work, Charles Stanley was preaching on the radio about how God works in our lives. Dr. Stanley reminded me of the truth that God is always (whether we know it or not) working "all things together for good". I know you are very familiar with Rom 8:28. You have quoted it numerous times in the blog over the last nine months. I know that you believe with all your heart that God "is" working behind the scenes in ways that we may never know in full or even in part.

But I would like to let you know of two phone calls I received today. They were not unusual in any way. In fact, almost "every day" someone tells me in person, in letter, or phone call the same thing that each of these people said today. Each told me two things: they are praying for your family, and they are greatly blessed, strengthened, and encouraged by seeing you and Todd truly live out your faith. Remember that these were just two of the hundreds (if not thousands) of people who are "Curious about Caed". As you well know, that group of people now extends literally around the globe. Would you have believed that eight months ago? Need I say more about "God works all things for good"?

I am not writing this to bring honor to either of you, but to honor the One (the only One) who has the power to bring good out of what we would call not good. If HE fails to do as HE promised, HE is either a liar, or an impotent God who cannot do as HE said. We all know that HE is neither. We all know that the Rom 8:28 promise applies to us, "his children". We all know that HE is more than able, and whatever HE says HE will do, HE will do.

Lori, I want to remind you of another time when you received some news that you were not "particularly happy to receive at that moment". Remember when you learned that you and Todd were expecting #3. Remember the thoughts of "Oh no, not now, Why now?, I can't do this right now, etc, etc.) Remember the letter I wrote you in the form of a "parable". Remember in the story, how God had a very special little boy to send, but HE needed to find some very special parents for this little one. Remember how HE searched the world over to find just the right parents for this little boy. Remember the overwhelming joy that these special parents experienced when at last "that special little one arrived". When I wrote this story as encouragement for you, I of course had Caleb in mind.

But now looking back on the last eight months, I see an even greater analogy in the story. I truly believe that Caed is that "special little boy". I believe that even at his young age, God has already given Caed gifts and talents that someday will be used to glorify God in mighty ways.

But until that times comes, this little boy needs some "very special" parents. He is going to need love, attention, care and answers to those difficult questions such as: Daddy, when can I ______? Mommy, how much longer _____? Daddy, why me? Mommy, can you make the hurt go away?

Many, if not most, of the days during the last eight months have been very difficult to say the least, and there will be difficult days ahead. But every day that passes means we are one day closer to the day when God's plan for Caed (HIS promise to bring good) will be revealed to you. (at least in part) And what a glorious day that will be!!!

But in the meantime, your job is to keep on keeping on. Keep on trusting, keep on praying, keeping on blessing. Even though there may be times when your heart is literally breaking, just as Caed's favorite song says, "Blessed be YOUR name".

In closing, I want to say that the purpose of this letter is not to bring honor and glory to you, but to remind you of the ONE that enables you to do what you must do each day. But Lori, I want you to know what a blessing you have always been to me. No father could be more proud of a daughter that I am of you. And Todd, I want you to know what a blessing you are to me. When you give Reagan away someday to that special young man that God has for her, I pray that he will be the "man of God", and the "spiritual leader of his family" that you are for Lori, Reagan, Caed, & Caleb.
I love each of you more than I could possibly put in to words.

Daddy.

One final comment to those people around the globe who are "Curious about Caed". If you are among the many that lift this family daily in prayer, thank you, thank you, thank you. You are a blessing to us inexpressible.

Monday, October 27, 2008