- I have never posted a "comment" before, but this one was different. Many of you probably don't make a habit of reading other people's comments, so I wanted to share this very special one. It was from my dad.
- As I shared in today's post, this was a very hard day for me. Nothing unusual happened. We did not receive any bad news. Everybody was feeling great! But, emotionally today.....I was at the end of my rope. I have been here many times before in the last 8 months. I can't possibly go into all the feelings I had....all the frustrations....all the fears....all the unknowns. But, simply that all the strength I thought I had left was gone (in my mind). Many of you have told me or left comments about "how strong" I am. I just shake my head. You don't see the real me! You don't see the tears. You don't see the impatience and anxiety. You don't see the sinful, selfish Lori!! I want to be very clear here: As so many of you know in your own experiences....any "strength" we have is not from US to begin with!!!! It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. 2 Samuel 22:33 I believe it is in times like today, times when I feel I can't go on.....these are the times I have taken my eyes OFF HIM and instead fixed them on my circumstances. As I already stated earlier, this evening was so good for me. The Lord used some dear sweet friends to encourage me. But, that wasn't all. After I got the kids in bed, I came to check my email and the blog one last time before going to bed myself. As I scrolled down (and kept scrolling and kept scrolling) I was thinking "who in the world sent such a long comment?" Then, I saw the word DADDY. My heart stopped. I quickly grabbed a chair and knew I was fixing to not only hear from my dad, but also from MY FATHER!!!! It was a reminder right then and there that HE WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE ME! On such a difficult day like today.....HE once again provided. Thank you!
Dear Todd & Lori,
It's 11:00 Monday evening and I just read "constant reminders" for the "third" time today. Each time it made me recall many of those same moments you wrote about, and the memories made me cry those same tears all over again, and again, and again. But I want to tell you of how the Lord also reminded me of something this morning. As I was driving to work, Charles Stanley was preaching on the radio about how God works in our lives. Dr. Stanley reminded me of the truth that God is always (whether we know it or not) working "all things together for good". I know you are very familiar with Rom 8:28. You have quoted it numerous times in the blog over the last nine months. I know that you believe with all your heart that God "is" working behind the scenes in ways that we may never know in full or even in part.
But I would like to let you know of two phone calls I received today. They were not unusual in any way. In fact, almost "every day" someone tells me in person, in letter, or phone call the same thing that each of these people said today. Each told me two things: they are praying for your family, and they are greatly blessed, strengthened, and encouraged by seeing you and Todd truly live out your faith. Remember that these were just two of the hundreds (if not thousands) of people who are "Curious about Caed". As you well know, that group of people now extends literally around the globe. Would you have believed that eight months ago? Need I say more about "God works all things for good"?
I am not writing this to bring honor to either of you, but to honor the One (the only One) who has the power to bring good out of what we would call not good. If HE fails to do as HE promised, HE is either a liar, or an impotent God who cannot do as HE said. We all know that HE is neither. We all know that the Rom 8:28 promise applies to us, "his children". We all know that HE is more than able, and whatever HE says HE will do, HE will do.
Lori, I want to remind you of another time when you received some news that you were not "particularly happy to receive at that moment". Remember when you learned that you and Todd were expecting #3. Remember the thoughts of "Oh no, not now, Why now?, I can't do this right now, etc, etc.) Remember the letter I wrote you in the form of a "parable". Remember in the story, how God had a very special little boy to send, but HE needed to find some very special parents for this little one. Remember how HE searched the world over to find just the right parents for this little boy. Remember the overwhelming joy that these special parents experienced when at last "that special little one arrived". When I wrote this story as encouragement for you, I of course had Caleb in mind.
But now looking back on the last eight months, I see an even greater analogy in the story. I truly believe that Caed is that "special little boy". I believe that even at his young age, God has already given Caed gifts and talents that someday will be used to glorify God in mighty ways.
But until that times comes, this little boy needs some "very special" parents. He is going to need love, attention, care and answers to those difficult questions such as: Daddy, when can I ______? Mommy, how much longer _____? Daddy, why me? Mommy, can you make the hurt go away?
Many, if not most, of the days during the last eight months have been very difficult to say the least, and there will be difficult days ahead. But every day that passes means we are one day closer to the day when God's plan for Caed (HIS promise to bring good) will be revealed to you. (at least in part) And what a glorious day that will be!!!
But in the meantime, your job is to keep on keeping on. Keep on trusting, keep on praying, keeping on blessing. Even though there may be times when your heart is literally breaking, just as Caed's favorite song says, "Blessed be YOUR name".
In closing, I want to say that the purpose of this letter is not to bring honor and glory to you, but to remind you of the ONE that enables you to do what you must do each day. But Lori, I want you to know what a blessing you have always been to me. No father could be more proud of a daughter that I am of you. And Todd, I want you to know what a blessing you are to me. When you give Reagan away someday to that special young man that God has for her, I pray that he will be the "man of God", and the "spiritual leader of his family" that you are for Lori, Reagan, Caed, & Caleb.
I love each of you more than I could possibly put in to words.
Daddy.
One final comment to those people around the globe who are "Curious about Caed". If you are among the many that lift this family daily in prayer, thank you, thank you, thank you. You are a blessing to us inexpressible.
7 comments:
Lori,
I love you guys and will continue to pray constantly for you to have the strength and grace to continue this walk. Just remember you are never alone! I loved granddaddy's comment--he puts things into perspective and he like you continues to give God the glory and honor. You hang in there sweet girl!
Hugs and kisses
Tina
"If we being evil want to give good gifts to our children, how much more does our Heavenly FAther want to give good gifts to His children?" God has entrusted your family to a big test. You are all working together to make the best of a situation. You may feel like Joshua who was taking the Isrealites to the Promise Land. They were camped on the other side of the water and wondered how they would ever be able to get to the other side! God doesn't expect you to get to the other side without HIM! He did a miracle that day! He wanted us to share those miracles with our children and our children's children! To much is given, much is expected! Your Promise Land awaits you... we all expect great things to happen. You will have lots to share with your children's children. God is searching for His faithful... you are one of them! Blessings for you all this morning. New mercies for this day!
Lesli
Lori, I don't think you will ever know the impact that your family has had for thousands around the world. To watch all of you walk in the Lord through the good days and the bad days is such an inspiration to us all. We pray for God to grant you more grace, strength and peace each day. We love you all so much and pray diligently for Caed and each of you daily. All our love and prayers. Verna & Junior Worthey
The best is yet to come. My prayer for all of you is Psalm 121. God is working mightily. How awesome to see His hand on each of you. Praise HIM! He will carry you through it all one step at a time. Only by His grace.
My love, hugs, and prayers to you all.
In His great love,
Carolyn O'Cain
How blessed your children are to have a believing grandfather; how blessed you have been to have Christian parents to prepare you for the trials you have and will face.
God is good.
Your dad is so right... an audience from around the world has watched your blog unfold and the faith that each day requires to get through.
I know that reading your blog each day has changed how I look at my own kids. Last night Matthew would not fall asleep. Usually I just get frustrated with my non-sleeper. However, I had just read your blog last night and as I went to get him out of his crib I thought "thank you God, that I have a healthy boy to go rock". I realize more each day the everyday blessings of health and family that I have constantly taken for granted. I think you have made all of us realize that these things are not a given... but a gift from God.
We may never know why God picked your family to walk this difficult road. However, I can see what an amazing testimony this trial has been for the rest of us. I am sure there are days you would gladly trade the "testimony" for none of this to have ever happened. I guess on those days we just have to trust that God truly is working this for good.
Thanks for continuing to update us each day.
Lori,
Once again, I stand in amazement of you...you have an incredible gift and such a beautiful way of pouring out your heart. We all have "dark" days and we all feel weak and feel like we can't go on...you however, can admit it and you know when to call in for "reinforcement." You know WHO to ask for the ultimate healing of your spirit and that He is the only one who can give you the strength and peace that you need. We all can take lessons from you (& Todd) on humility, on perserverance, on Godliness. You are both very special.
I have told you before, Lori, how great I think your parents are and again, your Dad proves just how amazing he is! I think we can all see some of where you get your incredible gifts from! You & Todd were both very blessed with such loving, caring and most important...Godly Dads. What a treasure!
We love you all so very much and never stop thinking about you and praying for you all. We can't wait to see you and know that it will be very soon!!
With love,
Leann
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