Wonder Word

We made it! Thank you for all the prayers for today as we traveled home. Caed did really well. Each take-off and landing (6 to be exact) seemed to cause the most pain, but other than that, we were able to wheel him around each airport with comfort and ease. He was giddy with excitement as we inched our way closer home.

Todd and I's understanding was that our car would be waiting for us once we got to the Lubbock Airport. But, as we made our way through the final revolving door into the baggage claim area, I could see my parents. What a great surprise! Reagan and Caleb came running around the corner (in their pajamas), and it was as sweet a reunion as any you see in airports. I turned to look back at Caed (still sitting in the wheelchair), and tears began streaming down his cheeks. He was crying uncontrollably. It scared me at first, thinking it was his tummy. But then I soon realized, he was just so emotional. He had missed home. He had missed his brother and sister so much. It's always tough for him being there at the hospital....alone. Of course, tears came to my eyes at that point as well. It was a joyous time. We were home. Caed was doing well. We had been reunited with Reagan and Caleb. The excitement of finally being "home," as well as the pain, fear, and trauma of the last week... collided in that brief moment. It was just more than Caed could handle right then.

As we were flying home this evening, a "random" thought came over me. Each day in my class at school, we learn a new word. It's called our "Wonder Word of the Day." We have probably learned approximately 100 words thus far. A few weeks ago, our word was agony. Most of the students had heard of it, but were unsure of what it actually meant. We discussed its definition: extreme or intense pain, answered some questions, and then went around the room for each student to share (their favorite part!) a time when they experienced "agony." The answers varied, but ranged from "stumping a toe" to "falling off the trampoline" to "smashing a finger in a door" to "stepping on a nail." All of which clearly were PERFECT examples (for a 2nd grader). Then it was Caed's turn. I knew in my head what his answer should be, but was fairly certain he would go with the flow and say something about getting whopped over the head by his little brother, etc... (actually I knew it would be ANYTHING to get a laugh from his classmates). However, he began like this:
One day.....I was sitting in my Nana's living room......and my tummy started hurting....and I threw up.....and then it REALLY started hurting.....and I went to the hospital.

And that was it. Story over. Heads around the room began nodding. They knew the story he was referring to. They had all seen his g-tube. His scars. His latest "incision." So there really was no need to expound any deeper into his story. I agreed that was a good example of agony....then, it was on to the next student. As his teacher my heart broke for him. The reality of his example. As his Mama, I wanted to curl into the fetal position right then and there and bawl my eyes out. The reality of living through his example along side him. In that small classroom, oblivious to what he had just shared, I knew there was only 1. Me included. There was only 1 person in that room that really knew agony.
The medical version of his short to-the-point example was: he was dying. His intestines had gotten twisted up into such an awful (excruciatingly painful) mess, they were dying. He was bleeding internally. His body was in shock. Within hours, he would be dead.

Almost 4 years to the day have passed since that dreadful afternoon. Caed has experienced more agony than I have ever even thought about. He has gone through more trauma, more heartache, and more fear than most people 10x his age.

And yet......look at him. He is so strong and brave and resilient. Simply put, he is my HERO! Reagan made a big sign for him in his room tonight. It read: Caed, I love you. You inspire me! And she's right. God has truly turned the dark, awful ashes into something radiantly beautiful. He is using this little boy to touch the lives of so many!

Thank you God for showing Your faithfulness to us once again this week. Thank you for getting Caed through it and allowing him to be warm and snug in his own bed tonight. We ask forgiveness for those times we took our eyes off You and allowed our own fears to flood our hearts. Thank you for showing us the ultimate example of "agony" in Your son, Jesus....and what You allowed Him to endure for OUR SAKE! Words fall short.


He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him, nothing in his appearance that we should desire him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows , and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed...
Isaiah 53:2-5