Number 4

My initial thought this morning was, "Wow....I can't believe it's been 4 years!" (although the majority of the time it seems like a lifetime ago). Honestly the last 3 years, March 1 was a tough day for me. Memories flooded my mind and would haunt me the entire day. Today, however.....was different.

Earlier this week, Caed randomly began a conversation like this:
C: You know in 2 days when I was sick?
Me: Come again?? I don't understand what you're asking.
C: You know! In 2 days when I was sick?
Me: (getting a tad frustrated) Caed, I don't understand. You are not making any sense.
C: When I was 4 years old!
Me: Ohhhh! You mean on March 1st?
C: YES!!! Well, do you think we could maybe go do something fun to celebrate me getting well on that day?
Me: You bet! That sounds like a great idea!

And it was. Caed chose to go see a movie and then out to dinner (his choice, of course!). I think Caed has begun a wonderful tradition. I wasn't sad today. It honestly for the most part, was just like any other normal day. It's probably hitting me more right now as the clock moves closer to midnight when the seriousness of March 1st really came into play.

As I was skimming through pictures of the past 4 years (and there are A LOT of them!), 2 things really jumped out at me:

First.....the irony of Caleb's birthday this year. He is now the age Caed was when he got sick (4). It still blows my mind when I look at Caleb, and especially when he wears Caed's hand-me-down clothes from 2008. Eeeery! A couple of months ago, we came across these....


I do believe 2 little boys have BOTH grown tremendously since those gowns were first worn.




The second thing was actually a surprise finding. As I scrolled through pictures, I came across one after another of Reagan right beside her little brother. Helping him. Playing with him. Just laying in bed with him. Bringing him toys or stuffed animals. Desperately trying to do whatever it took to see her brother smile again. (as illustrated in this next picture - Spiderman goes pretty well with Hannah Montana, don't you think?)


A couple of nights ago, Todd was working late and it was time to change Caed's dressing. I was nervous at first doing it all by myself. We had a routine and system in place. One of Todd's most important jobs is holding Caed's hands and calming him down. As Caed lay on the couch waiting for Nurse Mama to get organized, he said, "Reagan, will you please come hold my hand?" At first, her eyes got as big as saucers, and she looked over at me in a sheer panic. She replied, "sure...." I knew she was scared. She was nervous at what she might see under the bandages. I reassured her she didn't have to look.....just hold his hand. She did SO well! And even began encouraging him. It honestly was the best dressing change to date! Caed whimpered very little. I knew he was desperately trying to be brave in front of her. Little did he know, she was doing the exact same thing with him.

Reagan told me today she wrote in her journal at school about Caed and the importance of this day (and then even read it aloud to her class!). I sure would love to read it sometime!!

I am going to end tonight's post with a devotional from Streams in the Desert. "Ironically" dated......March 1:

"Your situation is filled with uncertainty and is very serious, but it is perfectly right. The reason behind it will more than justify Him who brought you here, for it is a PLATFORM for which God will display His almighty grace and power. He not only will deliver you but in doing so will impart a lesson that you will never forget. And in days to come, you will return to the truth of it through singing. You will be unable to ever thank God enough for doing exactly what He has done."