Perspective

Quite honestly since I discovered Facebook, my blogging days are few and far between. I updated several times the past few days with everything going on with Caed, but I do know several of my friends and family members are not on fb...so I apologize.

Yesterday's "bowel prep" was excruciating....as usual. Caed was super excited to learn he could eat Popsicles for breakfast and as often as he wanted throughout the day. But, of course by 10am....he was already fed up with Jello, chicken broth, apple sauce, AND Popsicles! It was a long day for poor Caed, but we eventually got through it.

This morning we got to the hospital bright and early....went through the normal admission procedures, and Caed honestly did wonderful. In his mind, we were coming for "one picture." I didn't have the heart to tell him the truth. And felt the less he knew, the better off he would be. Everything was going as planned...until the anesthesiologist (which we had many times before and LOVED!) came in and started telling Caed in detail what was fixing to happen. Caed's eyes suddenly filled with absolute terror! Although he was scared to death, our brave boy never shed a tear the whole time at the hospital. Obviously watching your child as they "go under" is never fun, but we had complete confidence in our GI doc and the team that was with him. I was reminded today HOW MUCH I love that Dr. H always has Christian music playing while the procedure is taking place. HUGE bonus points with Mom & Dad!

Every time Caed has had a scope (upper), the GI docs always come out laughing and each begin by saying the same thing: "Why didn't you remind us about that stomach?!?" (it was twisted up in the initial volvulus and honestly reminds me of the silhouette of a Thanksgiving turkey) It is always very difficult to move the endoscope through. But, with God's hand....Dr. H was finally able to get it.

Overall, the results looked very "normal." We are however still awaiting pathology results on several biopsies taken. There was one problem area found.....a pretty good sized hiatus hernia. This most definitely could be the cause of the nightly pain Caed has been experiencing, but....unsure until we get all results back.

Caed and I will fly out for NE on Monday morning and meet with the IRP Team on Tues. Remember we had told Caed (long ago) that this trip to NE would be super easy. Just blood draws and dr. visit. Todd and I felt sick these past 2 weeks thinking that would not be the case as Caed would have to have the "full meal deal." Praise God....we got everything done here at home (which will be sent on to NE), and now Caed's UNMC visit can still remain "easy."

We feel very relieved to have this particular test out of the way, and also for a possible answer to his pain issues. However...there is still some anxiety in my heart. When will I ever learn? That combination is always disastrous. I am trying desperately to think we will just treat it with some kind of drug....prop his pillows up every night...watch what he eats in the evenings and what time he eats....and on and on. I KNOW this is probably very silly. So many of our friends are fighting MUCH worse things than a hernia. I don't want to sound petty. But, I also know how much pain my son has been in the past several weeks. It was absolutely awful to watch. He is 7. Will he have to live (deal) with it for the rest of his life? Again, I know.....so what? Lots of kids have to deal with 100x that every day of their life. I guess the part that got me was hearing that a surgical fix is out of the question for Caed....considering his bowel. Not that I am wanting to rush him into any surgery, it's just the reality of this syndrome. Don't mess with it (bowel) unless absolutely necessary.

I will stop my Mama-sulking now.....go on to bed....and be thankful. Thankful all 3 of my kiddos are asleep in their beds. Thankful for the last 2 pain-free nights. Thankful Caed will (Lord willing) be at a swimming party tomorrow afternoon jumping and splashing and laughing....and doing "flip-twists" off the board. I have been reminded unfortunately of hospital life this week. Just the few short hours we spent in various parts, brought back a flood of emotions and memories. I'm afraid I got comfortable these last couple of years. Comfortable in the day to day grind....going and doing....running in circles trying to keep up. It just takes one episode. This minor "setback" we've experienced the past month has helped put things in perspective again.

Gosh, I love my little boy! Just trying to put Caed into words....well, it's pretty much impossible. He's special. He's unique. He somehow tugs at people's hearts, and he's been kept here for a reason. I could probably name you 1000 of them. Although, I can't help but think there's more. Something bigger. Something I can't even wrap my finite brain around.

Caed, you WILL get through these current issues. And Lord willing....HE will continue pulling you through the many, many more that will probably follow you. But, you are strong and brave and remember....the ONE who holds you in His hands....is faithful and sovereign and wise and good. Whom then shall we fear? He will never let go.......