A different kind of Mother's Day

Right away this morning I felt something different. A feeling I have not experienced before.

I have been blessed to have been a mom now for 9 yrs. And honestly....all those "special Sundays" in May since 2001, have been pretty typical. Kids wake up wishing me "Happy Mother's Day"......surprise me with homemade cards....hugs and kisses galore....a crystal vase full of flowers garnishing the dining room table...and off we go to church. To learn what it means to be a Godly mother. Then, of course comes the part of the day we love most.....heading out to mom's favorite restaurant to be able to enjoy a sit down catered meal. I have always loved Mother's Day, even before I "earned" the distinct privilege of being a part of one honored. I have the World's Best Mother! So, spending time on a beautiful spring day to show her how much I love and appreciate her was always lots of fun.

However, last year at this time, I honestly experienced one of the worst days of my life. Not to mention the worst Mother's Day. We had only been released from the hospital a week. We were staying with my parents and lots of family had come to spend the day. Lunch....fellowship.....games.....laughter.....what every good Mother's Day entails.

My heart was literally breaking in two. Yes, we were "home." But, that first month was absolutely awful. Physically Caed was the same. Still hurting....still throwing up.....still undergoing post traumatic stress. Only this time, there were no nurses to administer meds, etc....all day long. It was up to me. I was overwhelmed and being called to a job I had no desire doing. Not that I didn't want to take care of my child. But, not in that way. Not under those circumstances. Some of the duties I had to perform with Caed were potentially life threatening. I had been thrown into a profession as a nurse that I had no experience or background in. And my first patient was my precious son!

I also had just been reconnected with my other 2 children. For 2 1/2 months, others had become their primary care-givers. Caleb was especially difficult (then at 3 mos). Neither he nor his mommy had been consulted about the immediate separation that they both had to endure. No one asked. It just happened. Out of the clear blue....one cruel Saturday in spring. Trying to relearn this baby that was stripped from my arms was emotionally one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. No matter what I did, or didn't do......it just wasn't right. He had grown accustomed to a different way....to someone else other than his Mommy.

I can remember sitting in the bedroom last yr. while all the family "went on" in life. They played in the yard, had a shaving cream fight, and thoroughly enjoyed each other's company. I did not. I sat.....watched out the window.....with tears streaming down my face. Todd was 300 miles away working, and I so desperately needed him! What had happened these last 2 months? Why had my world, the one that was essentially trouble free, turned upside down? What had happened to my family? What was to come of my little boy?

Now...here we are only 1 short year later. And yet it seems like a lifetime ago. So much has happened. So many prayers have been answered. As I woke this morning, it was not just another Mother's Day to chalk up. All 3 of my children were soundly asleep in their warm beds and our family was together under the same roof. Something I will NEVER take for granted again!!!!

I am blessed! I have a wonderful Godly husband who loves me and takes such pride in our children. I have 3 beautiful kids who give me a reason to get out of bed every single day. Although I will be the first to say the life of a Mommy is a very hard one. (I am currently living the difficult toll it can have on your body, physically and emotionally.) But, no matter how exhausted, how unappreciated, how lonely, how selfless I am called to be......I LOVE MY LIFE! I am forever grateful for this calling God has placed on my heart.