Wed. 7/30 - update

...Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear....Consider how the lilies grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith!...... (Luke 12:22, 27-28)

Help us Lord.....to remember the lilies!

Tues. 7/29 - update

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

I remember back 18 years ago...I was just heading into my Sr. year. My brother, Stan, was into rock climbing/repelling at the time. He took a group from our church out to a repelling wall and was very eager for us to experience "the thrill" of stepping off a 40 ft. wall (backwards). When it finally came my turn to "take the plunge," I was SO nervous, and yet had perfect peace. You see, in my opinion Stan was an expert. He had tons of experience and knowledge and had repelled off things MUCH harder than what we were doing that day. I will never forget looking down from the wall and seeing him standing there holding my rope. I was in his hands! He had me! I had nothing to fear! The hardest part however was simply taking the first step backward. It was letting go. Even though I trusted Stan with my life....I still wanted some control over the situation. Although the minute I stepped off, the "control" (I thought I had) would now be in someone else's hands. I can still remember Stan's words....."I've got you! It's ok!" Of course, you can probably guess the ending to the story. I took the step and loved every minute of it! It was amazing! A definite rush of adrenaline...and something I would do again in a heartbeat. I have thought of this particular situation (and others like it) through the years. Isn't life a lot like this? We (THINK) we have control over a certain area in our life...we hold on ever so tightly to it, and yet the Lord is asking us to "take a step of faith." To trust Him!! Jeremiah 29:11 tells us:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I have been overly burdened lately by this whole concept. I want so badly to hold onto something I think I have control over. (I DON'T BY THE WAY!!!) The Lord is reminding me in a tangible way through this story to just "Let Go!" To trust Him. He loves me more than anyone else on earth and has an awesome plan for ME! Little 'ole Lori. He doesn't want to harm me, but rather give me hope and a future. Wow! Why is it so hard for us to trust Him with matters of life? If we know that He is in control and has incredible things in store for us (things we cannot even imagine).....WHY do we cement our feet on the top of the repelling wall and refuse to step off and trust Him? Oh!...the "thrill"......the "rush" (the blessings) we miss out on when we don't let go and trust!

"Faith isn't faith until it's all you're holding on to......................"

***Caed had a good day. He went to his play therapy session this afternoon and did well. She feels that he definitely has LOTS of things still inside him. I agree and told her he has really begun to verbalize some of them to me here in the last week or so. Next, we went to his GI dr. Caed weighed 33 lbs. again this week. Would have loved to have seen "34, " but also very thankful he didn't lose any. So, we'll keep on truckin' along with G-feeds (20 hrs./day).


Nana, Reagan, & Caed went to the fish
store this morning and got some new fish for
the pond. (kinda reminds me of a scene
from Nemo!! ha!)


Caed named his "Speedy" and Reagan
named hers "Goldie."

Sun. 7/27 - update

Whew!! The past 4 days came and went....and boy was it GOOD! Elizabeth asked Todd a year ago to put their wedding date on the calendar. Little did we all know, God had a much bigger picture in mind. Ever since we left Edna 2 yrs. ago, we have longed to go back to see our friends and church family. However....God knew this was the exact time we needed to see them most. I was overwhelmed with emotions this morning in church. These precious people were our family for 5 years. Just to see their faces again was like medicine on a wounded soul. Thank you for your continued support for our family. We love you all more than you will EVER know!

I'm not sure why I am surprised by these things, but this evening as we were flying from Houston to Dallas, a young woman sat beside Reagan, Caleb, and I. It was purely divine providence!!! The Lord used her to speak to me.....to encourage me.....it was like "He" was sitting there reminding me things I needed to hear again. Allason, I know we were BOTH kinda blown away by "everything, " but I truly want to thank you for your boldness. For immediately speaking to me about the Lord (even though you had no idea I was even a Christian). What courage to do that! And, what a reminder to me to do likewise.

**Happy Birthday Aunt Megan!!!!! We love you and miss you so VERY much!!!!


Ms. Tina and the kids
(Bridgette....my lips are sealed!! You'll just have to
wait and see for yourself when you get back from
Honduras) ha!


Caed and his BEST-EST buddy Greg
(Caed asked me one day if Greg could come over
to the hotel and play!)


We love you both "Jack" and Kristie!!!!!

Fri. 7/25 - update

Much of the same today. We made a special stop over to see 2 of Caed's nursery workers from FBC Edna. It was SO good to see them again! Ms. Sheri and Ms. Anita....we love you both very very much. You were 2 very important people in Caed's life growing up. He spent LOTS and LOTS of time in your care. We love you and thank you so much for loving Caed the way you do!! (you too Ms. Alice!!)

The rest of the day was spent getting ready for the wedding. It was beautiful and we feel so honored to have been a part of it. It was fun getting to see MORE of our sweet friends here. We love knowing that no matter how long we go without seeing each other....or how far apart we are...there are some people who will always be "lifelong friends." We are abundantly blessed because we feel we have SO many here in Edna.

Caed has done great thus far on the trip. However....we had another one of our "serious" talks tonight at the wedding. (they always seem to happen when Caed is in the restroom...ha!) We had been at the reception for maybe an hour, he had eaten some fruit, and he said to me (while on the potty)......"Mommy, I wish I was normal." I ask him to explain further. He said it just wasn't fair that everybody else gets to eat cake and drink punch and he doesn't. I know it's SO hard on him at times.....especially ones like tonight when he's with his friends....everyone is celebrating and in his mind he can't do the same. I assured him again that he is getting better....he WILL be "normal" again someday, but it's just going to take time. Please continue to pray for his little spirit. Most of the time, he acts so normal, but I forget that his life (as he knew it) has been completely turned upside down...and he's old enough to recognize it.



Caed and Micah dancing together

Thur. 7/24 - update

Our day mainly consisted of going around visiting old friends. We ate lunch with some, and then went up to the church and spent a couple of hrs. there visiting and seeing the new changes. I kept having the weirdest feeling being there at the church or just driving around town....almost like the past 2 yrs. never happened and we were still living here. Everything and everyone just SO familiar! That's what's cool about it though. Haven't see some of our friends in 2 yrs., and yet we can pick up exactly where we left off! We ask Reagan and Caed if they wanted to go by our old house. They were SO excited as they sat up big and tall in their seats. We stopped right out front just looking at everything...but the kids were confused. They kept saying, "No, we want to see the house WE lived in....." They truly did not recognize it! ha! Tonight we had rehearsal for the wedding and of course dinner. It was a late night (again) for the kids getting to bed. I know they will be worn out by the time we get back to Lubbock.



This is the "infamous Micah!!"
(Caed's GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!)


Dancing at the rehearsal dinner
(Caed's playing the "air guitar", of course)

Wed. 7/23 - update

It's been a LONG day!! We flew to Dallas, picked up Todd...and then off to Houston. Everyone did fine on both flights. Caed however barely made it through security.....ha! At the Lubbock airport, he had to be taken "aside".....while 2 men in uniform (with gloves on)....did a full body check. You should have seen the look on his face. Poor guy. They were being very nice and I told them there might be an "extra" amount of anxiety with him because of all he has recently been through. Then they had to take his backpack (G-feedings) off to be examined further. It was kinda funny. I totally understand and appreciate their cautiousness, but......a 4 yr. old boy with a medical condition?? I even lifted up Caed's shirt and showed them where the G-tube was going in. You should have then seen the look on THEIR faces!!! They let him go very quickly after that.

We finally made it to Edna (SW of Houston) around 8ish. We are definitely seeing the effects of Dolly. Drove through some pretty ugly rain bands. Anyway.....it's cooler here than usual which is always nice, but we still feel the "all too familiar humidity". ugghhh!!

Not sure what all we have planned for tomorrow (other than rehearsal tomorrow evening). Can't wait to see some more familiar faces!!!!

**THANK YOU SO MUCH Roger, Tina, Greg, & Kristie for all the ways you've helped!! HUGE blessing! We love you so very much!

Tue. 7/22 - update

Had a great day! Pretty non-eventful.....which is a blessing we do not take for granted. The kids played hard all day, and now we are scurrying around trying to pack for our trip to Edna. We fly out at 1:30 tomorrow. We will meet Todd at Dallas Love and then we'll fly on to Houston. I know Todd is SO ready to see the kids. It's been 2 weeks! We are very excited to be back in Edna...seeing everyone again! Haven't watched the weather today....but just pray "Dolly" stays away!

**By the way.....we ARE still in Idalou! I've had so many people ask...or either thought we stayed in Celina when we went to visit back in June. Our plan is to stay here through the summer.


Little Mr. Hunchback






trying squash for the 1st time

Mon. 7/21 - update

...proclaiming aloud Your praise and telling of all Your wonderful deeds.
(Psalm 26:7)

"This is the BEST day ever!....." These were Caed's words as we were walking into "his hospital" this afternoon. No, he didn't necessarily go do anything fun, but instead had his dreaded dressing change this morning, went to a therapist, saw Dr. Higgins, and then went to the hospital to see his nurses. ??? I'm not sure WHY he thought this was "the best day, " but I am so thankful he felt it none the less.

First off.....his play therapy session went fine (I'm assuming). I talked a little with her and then went to another room while she and Caed "talked and played." I couldn't hear specifically what was being said, only that Caed was literally talking her ear off! He said he liked it and really enjoyed playing with all her "cool toys."

Then, we headed for Dr. Higgins' office. PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! Caed gained 1 lb. this week. He is now a big whopping 33 lbs. The dr. wants us to increase his feeds to 90 cc./hr. (still @ 20 hrs./day). Also wants Caed to start a fiber supplement.

Next, Caed begged me to stop by the hospital so he could see some of his nurses. One of his favorites was working today, so he was especially excited! After the hospital, we ran by WalMart to run some errands. As we were heading back out to Idalou, Caed asked me if we could stop back at the hospital. I reminded him we just went. He said, "No.....that was just to say 'hello'.....now we need to go back to tell them 'goodbye!' ha! It's amazing how attached he still feels to that hospital and all the employees there. I am very thankful he is having good memories of it.

**thank you Mike & Margaret! Caed LOVES his new movie!!!!!! That was very sweet of you to think of him. You picked a perfect one!

**PLEASE continue to keep little Kensley Free in your prayers!! (3 mo. old with similar condition as Caed) Been a tough week.........

Whooooo!!! 33 lbs!

Sun. 7/20 - update

...though he stumble, he will not fall, for the LORD upholds him with his hand. (Psalm 37:24)

This morning at church we sang "Never Let Go." Throughout the past several months, it has become one of my favorites. However, late this afternoon, Caed was in "his room" playing as I was hanging up his clothes. All of a sudden I noticed he was over in the corner singing. I wish you could have heard his little voice....."Oh no, You never let go....through the calm and through the storm...." I literally had to stop what I was doing and thank God for speaking to me (and using a 4 yr. old to do it!!).

Tomorrow we will go back to Dr. Higgins' office to get Caed's weekly weight. I am praying he hasn't lost any more this week!! There is a very familiar feeling inside of me that reminds me of days back in the hospital. Things just weren't changing. Caed seemed to be stuck in a cycle of bad days and no progress (in our eyes). We knew that the Lord was in control, that He was holding Caed in His hands, but the daily "letting go" (giving Him our worries & fears) was difficult. I am struggling again with this. On the outside, Caed is doing so well! However, his "insides" are still working hard to heal. Today after church we went out to eat. We were careful with what Caed chose, and thought we did a pretty good job. However, just moments after pulling out of the restaurant, he began throwing up green beans! Looking back at it now, I'm sure they were cooked with fat. Never before would I have questioned him eating vegetables at a restaurant. I guess we are still learning.......

We also have an appt. with the play therapist tomorrow afternoon. Pray all goes well.

*I keep forgetting to report on Caed's Upper GI results. Dr. said it looked much better than the last one (mid-May). He said his anatomy is abnormal, but things are moving through better. Thank you Lord for this good news!


Caed and his backpack...
(he actually told me today that he liked
wearing it!! Thank you God!)


Reagan & Bergan "heading to prom....."
(with little brother tagging along)


Caleb enjoying an apple with Grandaddy


Caed was pretty upset when he heard you were
in the hospital. He's empathizing with ya.

Sat. 7/19 - update

Another normal day around here. The kids (minus Caed) went swimming this afternoon. Caleb's first time in the pool. He did great....was thoroughly relaxed. Caed did his usual.....throw things in for others to catch. Not much else really to report on. Thank you Lord for (non-drama) days like today.

**thank you also Fellowship Church Lubbock! Your continued weekly prayer cards have been a constant encouragement. We love you and appreciate you for caring for Caed like you have.

Ahhhh!! Feels good.........


Caed & "Jack" (his robot dog)
(thanks Richardson's!!)

Fri. 7/18 - update

Had a normal day. Our schedule with the feeding pump has been him getting off from 6-10 pm. That way he has some "free" time in the evenings. Also makes getting ready for bed easier, then...he knows he has to get hooked back up when he goes to bed. It has worked well. Once again, he had an awesome attitude having to carry that backpack around all day. I noticed the diarrhea was not as bad today. (maybe went 4-5 times)

Todd and his crew are on the road back from Student Life camp. He said they should get to Celina by 3am. They took a charter, so at least he (& others) are not having to make the long drive. He said camp was incredible (not to mention beautiful there in Durango, CO). The kids and I will meet up with Todd on Wed. at Dallas Love (heading to Edna for the weekend). We are very excited about going...been almost 2 yrs. since we've seen our church family and a lot of our friends.


Poor Timmy...he tends to get caught in Caed's
net many times a day. Caed has informed us he
wants to be a "turtle catcher" when he grows up!


Caed & Timmy


this one's for you Aunt Megan!

Thurs. 7/17 - update

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then....... (Ephesians 6:12-14)

I have not shared this story yet, but knew the time would come when the Lord would strongly lay it on my heart:

I don't remember the exact time, but it couldn't have been more than a couple of weeks after we left the hospital (May). Todd was back in Celina, and I was sleeping in Caed's room. It was back during the time when Caed would awake many times through the night in pain, vomiting, etc.... This night was no different. Only one particular time when he woke up, I could tell it was serious. He was screaming (not a pain cry) but one of absolute fear. I sat on the edge of his bed (still trying to wake up) and he began pointing to the window. He was crying and saying, "NO! Don't shoot it!!! No....please don't shoot it!" Normally I would have thought he was having a bad dream or even worse...hallucinating. But, I got chills all over my body, and all I could do was RUN!! (I look back now and it breaks my heart that I left him there alone) But, at the time I immediately ran to my parents' bedroom and woke up my dad. I was scared to death. I can't fully describe my feelings b/c I don't think I've ever had ones like that before. I literally felt an "evil presence" in his room. Then....I look up and see the picture that hangs above Caed's bed. I'm sure you have seen this painting before. But for the first time....I felt like I was actually LIVING IT! If you have not ever seen this picture before and cannot fully see it, look closely out the window. A father fervently prays over his son at bedtime...while an all out battle rages outside the window. (a good angel is fighting off a bad one) That particular night, Caed eventually settled down and fell back asleep. But....I did not sleep quite as well from that point on. It was a literal reminder to me that we are fighting a war. (only one that we cannot see with our human eyes) These "spiritual forces of evil" are all around us! They are out to get our children, our families, our marriages, and our "faith." I believe the attack on Christians is incredibly strong.

I do not think that it was satan that made Caed sick. Yes, sickness entered the world through sin, but I'm also not giving him the "credit" for this whole ordeal. I believe God allows us to go through fiery trials so He can "clean us"....to get all the impurities out of us....to make us more like His Son. However, what I am seeing is how satan is sneaking his way into the picture. (he's like that, you know.....very smart, very sly in his approach.) This week has been an incredible struggle for me personally. Thoughts of fear...."what ifs"....discouragement....and anxiety are finding their way into my head. I know it is from satan! We had about 3 wonderful weeks with Caed. I was so happy!! I just couldn't get over how (almost instantly) the Lord healed him. Now, with Caed's continual weight loss.....I am not as thankful and joyous as I was. Honestly, I am scared to death!

Please specifically pray for us in this area. As most of you know I'm sure from your own life experiences, "TIME" and the "UNKNOWN"can sometimes be your worst enemies. When days turn into weeks, and weeks into months, and months into years......satan knows how tired, weary, and discouraged we can get. He's alert, like a prowling lion looking for someone (NOT ON GUARD!!) to devour!! I want to be ready....to be "self-controlled and alert" (1 Peter 5:8). Not to go around scared all the time, but AWARE all the time. Not only is he after Lori's thoughts of fear, but he's after Caed, Reagan, and Caleb....he's after Todd and I's marriage (we've basically been "separated" now for 5 months)....he's after my parents (whose lives have literally turned upside down since this happened)....he's after every tiny detail that involves this "fiery trial." (especially the ones I am not aware of!) Pray that we WILL be alert... and not give him a foothold.

.....Caed did good today. He has been SUCH a trooper with having to be hooked up 20 hours a day. As he sat on the potty in WalMart this afternoon..........he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, how much longer will I have to be sick?" I wanted to cry. I told him "Not long! God is healing your tummy and you are going to be ALL WELL very, very soon!" Please don't stop praying for this little boy. Just like in the picture, I believe our prayers are empowering all the good angels to keep winning the battle!!!

Wed. 7/16 - update

Caed did wonderful considering he has temporarily lost a lot of his freedom. He had such a good attitude. He never even said a word to me about it! Normally he gets unhooked when he wakes up in the morning, but he never questioned me when I put his pump in his backpack. He knew exactly what to do. He strapped it on and off he went.... He was off for 4 hrs. this afternoon/evening. He just got hooked back up. Hopefully this will help!!!

Tues. 7/15 - update

...for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. (Lam. 3:22-23)


Today was a "new day!" Thank you God! He still was a little sluggish and didn't want to eat hardly at all, but the pain/vomiting, etc....was gone. Our GI dr. called this morning and said he was not thrilled hearing Caed had lost 2 more lbs again this week (nor the fact that they delivered the flavored formula). Caed definitely has a malabsorption issue. (which explains why he has eaten us out of the house, and yet still losing.) Since the food/nutrients aren't being absorbed into the body properly, he still feels hungry all the time. The dr. said our next option is to increase the G-feedings. Caed will have to be "hooked up" for 20 hrs/day @ 75 cc. Not necessarily what we want to hear, but at this point....we don't have a choice. Caed can't afford to continue this weight loss. I'm just thankful we don't have to get back on TPN right now. The dr. said all his numbers are looking so good, and he hates to mess with them (TPN). Caed will have to wear a little backpack all day like he did with his TPN. I know he will not like it, but just like everything else....he'll get used to it, and it'll be fine.

Thank you for praying for him!! I was reminded yesterday that my prayer life the last 2-3 weeks wasn't what it should have been. You know how hard you pray when things seem hopeless and you're at the "end of your rope", and then as soon as things start looking up....you tend to slack off? Well, that's what I did. I hate that Caed had to go through such a rough day yesterday, but I am also thankful that the Lord used it to open my eyes. The battle is still raging......

Todd said camp was going well (minus a trip to the ER last night). One of the guys broke his ankle! Please pray for John.


Thank you Debbie for sending the kids
these stuffed animals! They LOVED
making them. Then after they finished
their animals, they enjoyed a "snowball
fight" with the leftover stuffing. Thank you
for thinking of them!!!


Caed & "Beary"


enjoying some of his toys from the
hospital


Beary & Mooey!! (boy...my children
are creative!)


Caleb enjoying his cereal and bananas!
(his favorite part of the day)

*think my camera is ok. I did what you suggested
and let it dry out for a few days!

Mon 7/14 - update

The Sovereign LORD is my strength................... (Habakkuk 3:19)

Today has been pretty rough. Especially on Caed. He was up the whole night last night. He might sleep 30 min. and then need to go to the restroom. This continued ALL night! Finally at 5am, he began complaining his tummy was hurting. I decided at that point to stop the G-feeds. Caed has been on the "unflavored" Neocate formula. However, Home Infusion called several weeks ago and asked if the "chocolate" flavor would be ok b/c they were out of the plain. Honestly I was a little hesitant at first, but thought....oh well, I'm sure it'll be fine. Well, last night we finally ran out of the plain, and I had to open a new can of the chocolate. His HH nurse thinks that might have been what made him sick all night. She said there have been a few other kids that did not tolerate the flavored formulas. When you compare the ingredients on both cans there are a couple of differences. We're just not sure. I went to Hm. Inf. today and got a couple of boxes of the unflavored, so I guess we will see tomorrow...... ????

Caed was in lots of pain today, threw up 4 times, and was overall very miserable. Today was such a reminder to us of many days passed. It's amazing how quickly you forget the bad days after you have so many good (normal) ones. Caed's eyes were also a little sunken and he complained several times that his toes were tingly and that he couldn't bend his fingers. ???? Oh Lord.....we pray that it is nothing!!!!

We went to our GI dr. to get his weekly weight. He has lost 2 more lbs. this week!!!! Not good.(he's now 32 lbs.) We did not have an actual appt. w/ the dr., just weighed and talked a little with his nurse. I'm sure we will be hearing in the next day or two when he wants to see us again. I suppose we will also get the results from the UGI then.

We also had our first appt. with the play therapist. I was a little hesitant in going today, simply b/c Caed was feeling so bad. However, after he "got sick" he lay there on the couch and fell asleep. (I know he was exhausted after his awful night). It actually gave her and I a good opportunity to talk. We spent an hour there. I told her the "whole story" and she explained what play therapy does and hopefully how it can help. I am glad we went b/c today was one of those days where Caed did not speak a lot....used his sign language....grunted....was extremely clingy...and cried a lot. It helped me to realize that even though he has made tons of progress (behaviorally), the trauma he experienced is still there. It's just easily hidden when he feels well. We will meet with her each Mon. afternoon.

My heart has been so heavy today. It was such a let-down after having so many good days/weeks lately. I was also very frustrated at his weight loss. To see the way this little boy has been eating....and yet to think he's actually losing weight instead of gaining it. Not sure if he will have to go back on TPN or if dr. will just increase G-feeds.....???? Please pray specifically for this!! We have come SO FAR....and yet today felt like we took 10 steps backward. It's also rough b/c Todd is in Colorado. We will not see him for 9 more days. Pray that tomorrow can be a new day!!!

...for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3 : 22-23)

Sun. 7/13 - update

Good day! The kids and I visited Indiana Ave. Baptist here in Lubbock. This church literally took us under their wing and ministered to us over abundantly during Caed's hospital time. There are not words that can possibly express HOW MUCH we appreciate how they supported and loved on this little family that they did not even know!!! We will never forget your outpouring!

We finally made it to the BIG 100 cc!!!!!!!! (G-tube) Caed will go to his GI dr. tomorrow to get his weekly weight check and also has his 1st appt. with the play therapist.

He did great again......ate tons......and kept it ALL down! Thank you Lord.

Sat. 7/12 - update

Caed had another teriffic day! Ate like crazy....kept it down.....diarrhea better. We spent 1/2 the day over at Todd's mom's house. The cousins were in town (Matt and Kristi are heading to CO for youth camp like Todd). The kids played and enjoyed being together.

One thing we have really noticed with Caed is his appetite. He NEVER ate like this before. He was always a very small eater. Not sure the reason fully now, but we literally are having to tell him 'no' because he would eat non-stop if we let him! Not complaining. It's definitely a praise after you have a child that you have had to "force" to even lick a popscicle!



Cousins Kambree & Cannon



This may look like a simple "bathtime picture" but it's not. Tonight was one of those milestones for Caed. Throughout the whole time in the hospital and even up until a couple of weeks ago....Caed has only been sponge bathed. He did not want in the tub, and would cry if we made him. So, every night I sat him beside the tub and would clean him with a warm, soapy washcloth. A few weeks ago, he wanted to just stand in the tub with about 2 inches of water. Again, I would just clean him good with a cloth. Tonight however.....Reagan was bathing and I looked over and Caed was sitting down in the tub too! Notice his big grin!! He held his tube up so not to get it wet, and his G-tube (which you cannot see) was also out of the water. BUT.....to this little boy he was finally getting to enjoy a simple bath. (even though it only lasted a couple of minutes) Caed used to be my "bath-boy" before all this happened. He would ask to get in the tub at all hours of the day. Hopefully soon.....he can be "free" to really enjoy them again.

**btw....about 10 minutes after Caed got out of the tub, he dropped my camera in the water!!!!
I quickly got it out and immediately grabbed the memory card. I was just sick thinking all my pictures on it were probably gone. Thank the Lord....they weren't! Now, as for my camera, that's another story.

Our hill of 2008

On New Year's Eve each year, I always think back on the previous year and the things that occurred. Then, I always wonder what the new year will bring. I remember one year at Christmas my dad talking with us about HOW BLESSED we as a family were during that year. No deaths...no major illnesses/accidents...no catastrophes, etc.. He wasn't saying that everything had been perfect, but he was wanting us to see God's abundant blessing and hand of protection on our family. Ever since then, it always makes me think, "What will this year have in store for us?" Never in my wildest dreams did I think our 2008 would look like this! However, I believe we will still be able to say come Dec. 31st...."Even though we DID experience a major trial this year, look at God's abundant blessing and hand of protection on our family!"


The land you are...to take possession of is a land of mountains and valleys that drinks rain from heaven. It is a land the LORD your God cares for; the eyes of the LORD your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end. (Deuteronomy 11:11-12)


Yet the land we are to possess is a land of valleys and hills. It is not all flat or downhill. If life were always smooth and level, the boring sameness would weigh us down. We need the valleys and the hills. The hills collect the rain for hundreds of fruitful valleys. And so it is with us! It is the difficulty encountered on the hills that drives us to the throne of grace and brings the showers of blessing. Yes, it is the hills, the cold and seemingly barren hills of life that we question and complain about, that bring down the showers. How many people have perished in the wilderness valley, buried under its golden sand, who would have thrived in the hills? And how many would have been killed by the cold, destroyed or swept desolate of their fruitfulness by the wind, if not for the hills - stern, hard, rugged, and so steep to climb? God's hills are a gracious protection for His people against their foes! We cannot see what loss, sorrow, and trials are accomplishing. We need only to trust (Streams in the Desert)


I don't know what your 2008 has looked like thus far. It may be one of abundant blessing and fruitfulness. However, like ours....you may be struggling to climb your own "hill." We each have them, and if you have not experienced a steep one yet....get ready! James tells us "whenever you face trials of many kinds....." That means we ALL as Christians will face difficult times. That verse goes on to say, "...perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4) I believe there is ALWAYS a reason behind the pain! If we can just persevere through it, God promises to use that trial to strengthen us, to mature us.....and ultimately "complete us."

Thank you God for "our hill of 2008!!" We may never fully see how You used this in our lives and the lives of others....but we are so grateful to You for carrying us over it. Continue to be glorified!!!!!!!


Don't let us forget................................!

Fri. 7/11 - update

Caed did SO well at the hospital today for the UGI. When we first got there, he was pretty quiet and a little clingy, but soon...found out there was nothing to worry about. He was so brave and never once cried. His main concern was getting it over with so he could go EAT!! We had to stop his feeds at 5 am, and he couldn't eat or drink until after it was over. The past several months that was never an issue. Not now! This boy wants food the minute his feet hit the floor in the morning and then continues to ask for it every 20-30 minutes. So, this was tough on him this morning. The x-rays lasted about 3 hrs. (about the same amount of time it took for the last one mid - May) I guess we won't really know anything until we see our GI dr. next time. The only thing we could see was that his stomach still had an odd shape. The radiologist came out one time and said it was moving through, just a little slowly. I guess we somewhat expected that. However, at least it didn't take over 24 hrs. like it did the first time he had this done. He's making progress.

Todd and I had our weekly night out tonight since he'll be leaving again tomorrow....and be gone for 11 days. He and the youth will be heading to Durango, CO for Student Life camp next week. His brother, Matt, will also be going with his youth group from FBC Belton....should be fun having both "Hollingsworth bros." there together. Each of their youth groups always laugh and can't get over how much they look and act alike.

Thank you for your prayers concerning today's procedure. It was truly a calm, peaceful morning. The radio techs asked if he was a screamer......uummm......hard to say.....he has been known to do that in the past!!! ha! I am SO thankful he had a good experience today. He told me at one point he was a little scared b/c he didn't understand what they were going to do. Boy, has he come a long way!!!!

**SO GOOD to see you again Jason!!!!!!


Being silly as we waited (for 3 long hrs. up on
that hard table)


Finally.....he's getting to enjoy IHOP.
Watch out Greg....he practicing up for y'alls big
eating contest in a few weeks.

Thur. 7/10 - update

Not much to report today. He did great again! Ate a lot....and kept it down.

Please pray for his upper GI, etc... in the morning - 9:00. I truly do not know what to expect with him. Normally these procedures produce LOTS of anxiety, but this will be our 1st out-patient one. I haven't even told him where we're going in the morning. I think he'll be ok....but again, once we get into the room, and he sees the big x-ray machines, etc....it might all come back again. Also, pray for the results!!!!! We can see how God is healing him on the outside. We pray this will show a clear picture of what HE'S done on the inside as well!

I'm off to pick up Todd at the airport......................

Wed. 7/9 - update

We had a very busy....FUN....good day! This morning Marnie and I loaded up all our kids (plus 2 more) and headed for the Science Spectrum. It was lots of fun and the kids enjoyed getting out. We ate lunch and then came on back to Idalou. The kids played hard all afternoon, and then this evening we went over to my Grandmother Mitchell's house for a cook-out. Of course, after supper we HAD to bring out the marshmallows! It was a beautiful evening (perfect for a fire). Caed told us as we were sitting out tonight...."I sure am glad I thought of this!" (yes....the S'mores were HIS idea)


Caed ate a lot today......and NO throw-ups!!!! Thank you God! For some reason he kept wanting cheese ALL DAY LONG. He seems to get stuck on one particular food (like the spaghetti) and will literally ask for it continually. It is so hard to tell him no (simply b/c of all the months we begged him to take even one bite of something). However, I am learning to just make him wait even an hour before he gets something else. Seems to help (maybe.....?). We set his G-tube at 50 cc. last night and had no problems. He did need to get up once during the night to go to the restroom, and then this morning when he first woke up he complained his tummy was hurting. I was so nervous! We really need this to work. However....within minutes he was completely fine and never heard him complain the rest of the day. The diarrhea was "normal" I guess for Caed. He went maybe 6-7 times. Tonight the pump is set for 60. Our plan is to increase by 10 cc. each night until we get to 100 by Mon.


Our main prayer request right now is the absorption issue. He can eat like crazy, but if his intestines are not absorbing the nutrients & water from the food....my guess is....how is that really helping? Not an expert in that area, so....maybe I'm wrong. I know I'm probably getting too detailed for you, but the diarrhea (for the most part) is purely liquid. Again, not a good thing. The more solid we see....the better! That would mean his intestines are working more like they should.


We also have an appt. with the "play therapist" on Mon. Todd and I had talked a lot about it, and had decided there wasn't a need to pursue that any longer. If you could only see the change in Caed in just the last 2-3 weeks! Behaviorally speaking, 90% of his days are relatively "normal" for a 5 yr. old. However....just last week he had a major outburst! (very similar to how he was in the hospital) And, there are times he won't speak and just points, etc.... The therapist said as she was reading over his initial assessment from the previous dr., she was very concerned. She said it's wonderful that he is doing better, but there is no way a child who has been through as much trauma would be completely back to normal in just a couple of weeks time. We agree. So, we will meet with her Mon. My thought is....what harm can it do? I'm sure we can learn better how to handle when those rare outbursts do occur.



**Congratulations Richard and Leann....Garrett (aka. "Ty") is absolutely adorable! Cannon and Caleb are so excited to have another boy cousin around. Do we even want to think about all the trouble the 3 of them are going to get into? ha!



Caleb - now 5 mos. old


Caed feeding the fish in Grandmother
Mitchell's pond


roasting marshmallows


eating S'mores.....look away, Dr. Higgins!


playing "firefighters"
(Reagan, Bergan, & Caed)

Tues. 7/8 - update

The LORD will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.
(Psalm 41:3)

Tonight Caed and I had a very special evening with some very special new friends. It's a long story how we got connected, but basically by word of mouth this family found out about Caed and our experience. They have been following through the blog. However, they are not just an ordinary family....you see they too have a child with short gut. The drs. discovered her malrotation just days after she was born. Kensley has lost 75-80% of sm. bowel, part of large, and the value that connects the two (sound familiar?). She also shares the exact same drs. as Caed! (Goldthorn and Higgins) Her mom is a children's minister, and they have a daughter (9) and son (5). The similarities are astounding! (other than their age difference) Caed and I went to see them up at Covenant (in the exact same room as Caed.....only on opposite floor). It was a very eerie feeling walking into that room. Everything was so familiar.....right up to the point when Dr. Higgins walked in! Only this time, I was the "visitor." I was able to leave. I was not having to sleep on the couch-bed, eat hospital food and watch my child suffer (and feel helpless as a parent). I wanted to cry for them (& did). I felt all that they were feeling. We talked for quite awhile and decided that there was some special reason God joined our paths. We don't fully know what the outcome might be, but are excited to see how He leads. Please add precious Kensley to your prayer list. She is 2 months old and so beautiful! Her parents love the Lord, and it is very evident who they are leaning on during this time. God has already brought her this far, but just like in Caed's situation....you feel like you're making progress and then a major "setback" comes. They believe God is in control and have given their daughter into His hands. (something so difficult to do!)

Lord, I pray for sweet Kensley right now. She is so young and has so much life ahead of her. Please deliver her from any pain or discomfort. I pray for her parents/family as they are going through a major storm. Help them to see Your Hand in this and know You are holding onto them so tightly. YOU ARE FAITHFUL!!! BE GLORIFIED THROUGH THIS!! Use little Kensley in a mighty way to bring others closer to YOU!

**Mon. 7/7 - update**

Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)

Praise God!!! We feel abundant blessings from Him today! NO MORE TPN!!!! This is such a milestone day for us. We have been burdened from all the time on the TPN (affecting his liver) and have prayed for him to be able to get off of it soon. Today is that day! Thank you God!! We saw Dr. Higgins today and he decided it was time to do away with it. Now we pray Caed continues to improve and we can stay off FOR GOOD! He will still have his central line in (for possibly another month) as long as there are no problems. We will continue to give meds through it and also draw his blood from there. G-tube will stay in longer. Our dr. wants us to get to 100 cc. by Mon.! That is another praise. All the time in the hospital we barely ever got to 30 cc. ~ maybe. The fact that Caed is doing well enough to get to that number in 1 week is incredible! Our dr. always told us it is much harder going from 0 - 20 cc. than from 20 - 50+. So, now....we should be on the homestretch. Caed lost 2 lbs this week, but Higgins wasn't overly concerned. Even though he is eating like normal now, his bowels are still trying to heal and are having trouble absorbing the nutrients. Hopefully the G-feeds should help more now that we are drastically increasing the dosage and rate. Caed is scheduled for an upper GI and sm. bowel series Friday morning. He will not have to drink the barium...they will inject it straight into his G-tube (like the last time). We are very ready to "see" what these results show.

Caed had another "food-filled" day. Again, he asked for it immediately when he woke up and didn't stop for several hours. It's not that he ate constantly, but he sure wanted to! He did however throw up after lunch. Not sure if he just had too much too soon. ??? The diarrhea was overall better today. I believe he only went about 3-4 times all day. (dr. also wants us to start some Imodium once a day)

Throughout this whole ordeal....we prayed for God to have mercy on Caed and heal him. As his parents, that was our desire....our will! However, we knew that God is sovereign and could choose to take Caed "home" and be completely just in doing so. All I could think about was other children / teenagers that died too soon in life, but yet God truly was glorified in their deaths. I have been to those funerals and sat in awe as the parents/family/friends gave HIM praise and glory. The plan of salvation was shared there. Many people attending those funerals were forever "changed." As much as I did not want that to be the case with Caed....I also knew that God could choose to do so if it was His will. (as extremely difficult as that would be). That's why it was so hard to know what to pray. I remember begging God to PLEASE deliver Caed! But, never through this did we ever have the attitude that "God WILL heal him." We hoped and prayed so, but were reminded that "our ways are not His ways..." (Isaiah 55:8) We knew the # of people reading Caed's story (and especially praying for him!) was growing day by day. Our thought was "how could God choose to end this story in death with SO many people praying for his ultimate healing?" "Wouldn't He be more glorified through healing Caed and answering everyone's prayers than through his death?" That was our rationale. But, we knew God sometimes chooses to do things that we in our human (depraved) minds cannot possibly comprehend. Like I said before, although we literally begged Him to heal Caed, we also trusted Him and knew He doesn't do things to harm or hurt us. So, even if He took Caed home...He would continue to be faithful and "not let us go."

Even though Caed has steadily been improving for several weeks (and drastically this past one), for the first time tonight it has truly hit me. God DID have mercy on us (& Caed)...He DID deliver Caed from months and months of pain, fear, sadness...He DID answer the heartfelt prayers of (possibly) thousands of people!! Caed still has aways to go. He still has gadgets going into his little body. He still is on lots of medications. He still is being "hooked up" daily. And his body is still trying to recover from the major trauma it went through. However....tonight as we were putting the kids to bed, Caed interrupted Reagan's prayer and said, "....and fank you God for not making me get hooked up to the ofer tube..." YES!!! Thank you God for this wonderful day You have given us! Thank You for answering our prayers in the way we wanted so badly. Thank you for pouring out Your blessing and favor on us! Oh...what love!! You never let go!

Sun. 7/6 - update

Taste and see that the LORD is good................... (Psalm 34:8)



This was basically the picture we saw of Caed ALL day! The first thing he asked for this morning when he woke up was his leftover "sketti" from supper last night. We told him to wait until after breakfast. He did. Maybe 30 minutes after breakfast!! He had about 5-6 helpings of spaghetti all throughout the day. He would have had more, but we tried to make him wait a little between helpings. He finally ate it all.....I guess we're going to have to make a big pot of it to have "on hand" here at home.

We spent most of the day over with Todd's mom. His brother Scott (& family) were in town for the holiday weekend. As I said before, Caed ate some spaghetti.....played some baseball....ate some more spaghetti....played with cousins....ate spaghetti....and then ate spaghetti again and again! That was basically Caed's day in a nutshell. So far, he has only thrown up once. He had some ice cream when we got back out to Idalou. Apparently we're seeing a pattern with dairy. (his cereal a few days ago came back up too) I don't know. I guess that will be one of the questions we have for our GI dr. tomorrow. Other than that, he had a terrific day! (had no problems with g-feedings........Todd is wanting to bump it up to 40 cc. tonight!)


playing baseball with Daddy


this one's for you, Brad!.........
(see how your absence has affected him?)


This is what I walked into while Caed
was in the restroom..........I think our
"crazy clown" is BACK!!!!!!!!

Sat. 7/5 - update

We had another full day! Reagan "officially" turned 8 today and even though she already had her party, we still wanted to make this day special for her. She invited (her cousin) Bergan to go to the movies with us. She wanted to see Kit Kittridge....but Caed wanted to see Wall-E again. So, all the "men" went to one and us girls went to the other. Then, we went to one of Reagan's favorite restaurants (Olive Garden) for supper.

Caed did ok today. Not bad.....but definitely not as well as he had been doing. Since last Mon., he had not thrown up any. This morning however, his cereal apparently did not settle well with him. Then, at supper tonight, he complained several times that his tummy hurt, and we (again) had to make many trips to the bathroom. Never threw up anymore though. And, he thoroughly enjoyed his spaghetti. When we got home, he asked me if he could have "just 1 more noodle!" Tonight his feeding pump is set at 26 cc. We will go for 30 tomorrow. Then, Mon. is his next GI appt, so we'll see what the dr. wants us to do from there. (since he's eating so much by mouth now)

We continue to see SO much progress with Caed! Thank you all so very much for lifting him up day after day. We know it is not over.....but we are sure getting close. Our God is Faithful!!!!!


Happy 8th Birthday Reagan!!!!
We love you SO much!


singing to her at the restaurant


Caed & Timmy

Fri. 7/4 - update

Happy 4th!!! We had a great one! It started with 4th on Broadway (Lubbock parade), then over to Todd's mom's house (played a quick game of baseball w/ Uncle Scott), then...out to the Everitt's pool for swimming / cook-out / fireworks. He did wonderful again....and ate the whole day! The kids were exhausted when we got back home tonight. Both Reagan and Caed went straight to their beds in their clothes. Didn't have the heart to change them.

We picked up Todd at the airport around 6:00, so he got to join in on part of the fun. Tomorrow is Reagan's birthday. We plan on taking her & Bergan to dinner and a movie.


Nothing says 4th of July like a corndog
at 9:00 AM!!!!!


...and then nachos at 9:30!!!!!
(Reagan, Caed, and (cousin) Clarie)


Claire & Caed at the parade

Thurs. - 7/3 - update

Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what He has made crooked? When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider: God has made the one as well as the other...
(Ecclesiastes 7:13-14)

I have used this verse before, but back then I focused more on the "bad times" God allows in our lives. PRAISE GOD! Now we truly can BE HAPPY....times are good! I remember the first week Caed was in ICU just days into this ordeal, and our family told Todd and I to "leave the hospital and take a break." We went to a fast food restaurant just down the street. I was literally sick to my stomach and cried the entire time. As Todd was waiting on his food, all I could do was watch with envy how everyone else was having a "normal" day. Tears welled up as I watched families sit down together enjoying a meal. Some were chasing their kids around the restaurant, laughing, talking, just doing what families do. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE!!!! YOU'RE TAKING IT ALL FOR GRANTED!
And they were. They were doing exactly what we had done the past 8 years. Take each day with our children for granted....we just come to expect things. As hard as this is to actually say, I do thank God for allowing this into our lives. It has changed us. It has definitely mellowed me out! I see simple everyday things in a different light. I know there will come a time when we too will start to "expect" certain things day to day.....we will loose sight and begin focusing on the small unimportant again.....BUT Lord we pray you will quickly bring to mind this experience and remember every day is truly a gift!! (you don't know what you have til it's gone!!)

We spent the day running errands and even went to the mall. Everything about it was so normal. It was exactly as it was before all this happened. (other than the 20 trips to every possible restroom!!!!) I began thinking.....now I am the "normal mom out with her kids." Were there others around that watched ME with envy? The odds are yes! God, help me to not take these "normal moments" for granted. I too have been on the other side!