Many things occurred this week that quite frankly were just not on my "to do" list. First and foremost, attending my grandmother's funeral. Something I never expected just a short week ago. However, the Lord was especially gracious during this time. He used her death to reach others and was glorified through it. God's presence was truly there. The service and time spent with family was wonderful. Yet again, even through this............He taught me many things. I was able to spend 24 hrs. in my Granny's home. Something I am SO grateful I had the opportunity to do. I will share another time some of those neat things the Lord showed me.
My heart continues to be heavy today. Many things that right now.....I just cannot write about, but will simply say I was reminded today that God's Word is powerful! It is sharper than a doubled edged sword. Today as I was standing in a long checkout line at Walmart, He spoke. So clearly. And to me!
Choose you this day whom you will serve...........but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. (Joshua 24:15)
Choose you this day.......
Choose you this day.....
Over and over, CHOOSE YOU THIS DAY!!!!
I knew satan was attacking. Getting me down. Instead of being joyful, counting my blessings, making the most out of my day, he was whispering lies into my head. Causing me to forget God's goodness. His faithfulness. His love.
And that's exactly what I believe we have to do EVERY SINGLE DAY.....and most likely many times throughout the day. CHOOSE CHRIST!
Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things. Philippians 4:8
My prayer is that amidst the hustle and bustle. The noise. The crowds. The busyness. The stress of the holiday season, we would stop long enough to just listen.............. Listen to His voice. What amazing and wonderful things He wishes to tell us. To remind us. To teach us. If we would but only STOP and LISTEN!!!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Sunday, December 7, 2008
My gift
Today is my birthday. It was a wonderful day. Nothing over the top happened. Just an ordinary day filled with dear friends and my precious family. Earlier this evening I caught myself thinking, "This was a great birthday! What I desire more than any gift is just to be with my family, and that I got."
But, I received something else today. A call from my parents saying my Granny had gone to be with Jesus. The initial heart ache. The sorrow. The tears. However, the more I listened, the more my heart was filled with joy. What a wonderful birthday present! My Granny got to meet Jesus today. Something she asked for repeatedly. "Just let me go. I want to go home."
My Granny was one of the Godliest women I knew. She was so faithful. So wise. So giving. She deeply loved the Lord. I want to be just like her!!! I wonder if she ever knew the impact she had on my life. The example she was to me. I am forever grateful for the heritage of faith she was apart of. She and her husband taught my dad about the Lord, lived it out.........and in turn, he continues to teach me the same.
And did I mention she was a mighty prayer warrior? I don't think any of us (family) truly will ever know just how much she prayed for us. Just over the last 9 months, I know she covered Caed with intense prayer. She wrote me a beautiful letter while he was in his sickest days. The power in her words. The plea to God for Him to heal Caed and in so doing be glorified.
I could write for hours about my Granny. Just the memories. The way she loved music and would praise God through it. How she would play the piano (or her accordian) with her 2 sons on their guitars. The singing. The laughter. The homemade rolls! And let's not forget the infamous teacakes!!!! I don't think I got much of her musical talent (unlike several of the others), but a few things I did would be her love for pictures and also letter writing. She and I wrote back and forth for many, many years. I remember when I was about 10-12 years old, she told me, "Lori, I believe you're going to be a writer when you grow up." I thought she was crazy. I hated 'Writing' in school. However, I did love to write letters (and journal). I guess I'm still doing it to this day. The means have definitely changed from cutesy Hello Kitty stationary, address labels, and stamps to laptop computers and blogs. But, apparently she saw something in me such a long time ago.
My dad shared with me that not even an hour before her passing, he was pleading with God "to be gracious to her!" And that He did. He did not allow her to suffer too long. Oh! How God has waited for this day. To welcome her home!!! What a wonderful reunion is taking place. Her first husband died when I was only a year old. 35 years she has longed to see my PawPaw again. Not to mention her mother and father and other family members. What a glorious day this turned out to be!!!!!
The Lord blessed her with such a wonderful life. Loving family. Friends too numerous to count. A heart for ministry. Good health. And many talents (which she used for HIM!!) I feel overly blessed myself tonight. God chose a very special woman to be my grandmother. She lived out her faith and challenged me to do the same. I will miss her dearly! I will miss everything about her. But, in the same breath........how happy I am knowing that today she is in heaven praising God.........fully restored and with her loved ones.
"The Lord gives...........and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" On Dec. 7, 1972, He gave life to me. He gave a young husband and wife the surprise of their life when they were told, "It's a GIRL!!" Now, 36 years to the day later.............He gave LIFE to my Granny. Some would say it ended this evening.
We all know better. Her life is just beginning................................
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. John 14:1-3
I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
But, I received something else today. A call from my parents saying my Granny had gone to be with Jesus. The initial heart ache. The sorrow. The tears. However, the more I listened, the more my heart was filled with joy. What a wonderful birthday present! My Granny got to meet Jesus today. Something she asked for repeatedly. "Just let me go. I want to go home."
My Granny was one of the Godliest women I knew. She was so faithful. So wise. So giving. She deeply loved the Lord. I want to be just like her!!! I wonder if she ever knew the impact she had on my life. The example she was to me. I am forever grateful for the heritage of faith she was apart of. She and her husband taught my dad about the Lord, lived it out.........and in turn, he continues to teach me the same.
And did I mention she was a mighty prayer warrior? I don't think any of us (family) truly will ever know just how much she prayed for us. Just over the last 9 months, I know she covered Caed with intense prayer. She wrote me a beautiful letter while he was in his sickest days. The power in her words. The plea to God for Him to heal Caed and in so doing be glorified.
I could write for hours about my Granny. Just the memories. The way she loved music and would praise God through it. How she would play the piano (or her accordian) with her 2 sons on their guitars. The singing. The laughter. The homemade rolls! And let's not forget the infamous teacakes!!!! I don't think I got much of her musical talent (unlike several of the others), but a few things I did would be her love for pictures and also letter writing. She and I wrote back and forth for many, many years. I remember when I was about 10-12 years old, she told me, "Lori, I believe you're going to be a writer when you grow up." I thought she was crazy. I hated 'Writing' in school. However, I did love to write letters (and journal). I guess I'm still doing it to this day. The means have definitely changed from cutesy Hello Kitty stationary, address labels, and stamps to laptop computers and blogs. But, apparently she saw something in me such a long time ago.
My dad shared with me that not even an hour before her passing, he was pleading with God "to be gracious to her!" And that He did. He did not allow her to suffer too long. Oh! How God has waited for this day. To welcome her home!!! What a wonderful reunion is taking place. Her first husband died when I was only a year old. 35 years she has longed to see my PawPaw again. Not to mention her mother and father and other family members. What a glorious day this turned out to be!!!!!
The Lord blessed her with such a wonderful life. Loving family. Friends too numerous to count. A heart for ministry. Good health. And many talents (which she used for HIM!!) I feel overly blessed myself tonight. God chose a very special woman to be my grandmother. She lived out her faith and challenged me to do the same. I will miss her dearly! I will miss everything about her. But, in the same breath........how happy I am knowing that today she is in heaven praising God.........fully restored and with her loved ones.
"The Lord gives...........and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord!" On Dec. 7, 1972, He gave life to me. He gave a young husband and wife the surprise of their life when they were told, "It's a GIRL!!" Now, 36 years to the day later.............He gave LIFE to my Granny. Some would say it ended this evening.
We all know better. Her life is just beginning................................
For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him, will not perish, but have everlasting life. John 3:16
Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. John 14:1-3
I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Less is more
And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)
God used our time in Nebraska to teach me many, many things. However, one that has stood out to me the most since we've been home is the old familiar saying................Less is more!
As hard as it was at times living in that little one room with 2 of my kids for almost 3 months, wow!......I sure learned a simplified version of living. As I've stated before, I definitely missed the conveniences of home (bathtub, full size frig/freezer/comfortable bed/stove), however, the Lord used the Lied and our time there to tangibly show me................Less is more!
The kids and I had just enough clothes there to get us through.....there were just enough toys to keep them busy and happy.......there were just enough dishes to get us through the day....and just enough room to stretch our legs. Now, that we are home, I can't begin to tell you how many times a day I am doing dishes, laundry, and tripping over thousands of toys. We have too much stuff!
I would not label myself a 'pack-rat' by any means, but yes, I do have that tendency (especially with clothes) to think....."Maybe someday, I will lose weight and be able to fit into all these again." or "You just never know when someone is going to throw an 80's party, and we will need these clothes." ha! Even with the kids' toys. Sometimes it is easy to throw things out, but others hold sentimental value. Just yesterday I found myself going through Reagan's drawers and was finding tiny little socks. And, then, got so excited when I came across her very first bathing suit!!! Why in the world did I hang on to that? She is 8!!
Just coming off of our NE stay is helping me "depart" with many things. I am remembering how we made it just fine with the little we had. The kids were happy, and I promise you.....used their imagination much more while playing. They did not whine and complain for fancy toys, just naturally found other "fun" things to do with what we had.
Have you ever been on a mission trip or heard someone who has come and talk about their experience? I have yet to hear a "mission trip testimony" where these words were not used:
"The people had nothing.....literally swept their dirt floors.....if they were fortunate they had a pair of shoes.....and yet, they were HAPPY! To see the joy in their faces was astounding!"
I have been on several trips like this and remember coming home and having to readjust to our American culture. Our greedy, unsatisfied, spoiled culture! To see the hundred different brands of toothpaste to choose from in the gro. store.......these people would give anything to just have a tube.....any tube.
It definitely opens your eyes in a way you can never imagine. However, as the days pass, and then weeks, and years......we forget. We get caught up in our normal "I deserve to get whatever I want" attitude. We begin competing with "The Jones'." Trying to stay one step ahead.
This is not easy. It is most certainly a battle! I believe God truly has blessed us by allowing us to live in America. It is a wonderful country, and I am proud! However, the truth is....we ARE spoiled.
The Lied Transplant Center can not be compared to a 3rd world country, but for this family.....maybe so. Maybe it took "getting down to the basics" to open my eyes once again. I pray that God will use it to remind me the next time I'm walking the aisles of Target or the mall. "Is this something we really need or just simply want?"
I am also aware this revelation is coming to me at a very purposeful time.....Christmas. We decided to only put up a very small tree this year....no stockings....no lights....no decorations. The reason was simply because of our "move" back home. I knew I would have so many other things to do, and worrying about the Christmas decor would only add stress. Did you know Reagan and Caed have said nothing! They were excited to put up the little tree, but have yet to ask about their stockings or the other. I love it!! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas! I love seeing all the lights and decor everywhere. However, I have not missed for a second the stress (and $) that it involves. I wanted this year to be meaningful. To simplify. To try to focus solely on what Christmas truly is.........a celebration of salvation! I know we can do that AND get into the holiday spirit with all the decor, the endless parties, and gift giving. But, for me, this year.......I can't. I need to be home. I need to focus on my family. I need to reflect on this past year. I need to be reminded that "Less is truly more!!!!"
God used our time in Nebraska to teach me many, many things. However, one that has stood out to me the most since we've been home is the old familiar saying................Less is more!
As hard as it was at times living in that little one room with 2 of my kids for almost 3 months, wow!......I sure learned a simplified version of living. As I've stated before, I definitely missed the conveniences of home (bathtub, full size frig/freezer/comfortable bed/stove), however, the Lord used the Lied and our time there to tangibly show me................Less is more!
The kids and I had just enough clothes there to get us through.....there were just enough toys to keep them busy and happy.......there were just enough dishes to get us through the day....and just enough room to stretch our legs. Now, that we are home, I can't begin to tell you how many times a day I am doing dishes, laundry, and tripping over thousands of toys. We have too much stuff!
I would not label myself a 'pack-rat' by any means, but yes, I do have that tendency (especially with clothes) to think....."Maybe someday, I will lose weight and be able to fit into all these again." or "You just never know when someone is going to throw an 80's party, and we will need these clothes." ha! Even with the kids' toys. Sometimes it is easy to throw things out, but others hold sentimental value. Just yesterday I found myself going through Reagan's drawers and was finding tiny little socks. And, then, got so excited when I came across her very first bathing suit!!! Why in the world did I hang on to that? She is 8!!
Just coming off of our NE stay is helping me "depart" with many things. I am remembering how we made it just fine with the little we had. The kids were happy, and I promise you.....used their imagination much more while playing. They did not whine and complain for fancy toys, just naturally found other "fun" things to do with what we had.
Have you ever been on a mission trip or heard someone who has come and talk about their experience? I have yet to hear a "mission trip testimony" where these words were not used:
"The people had nothing.....literally swept their dirt floors.....if they were fortunate they had a pair of shoes.....and yet, they were HAPPY! To see the joy in their faces was astounding!"
I have been on several trips like this and remember coming home and having to readjust to our American culture. Our greedy, unsatisfied, spoiled culture! To see the hundred different brands of toothpaste to choose from in the gro. store.......these people would give anything to just have a tube.....any tube.
It definitely opens your eyes in a way you can never imagine. However, as the days pass, and then weeks, and years......we forget. We get caught up in our normal "I deserve to get whatever I want" attitude. We begin competing with "The Jones'." Trying to stay one step ahead.
This is not easy. It is most certainly a battle! I believe God truly has blessed us by allowing us to live in America. It is a wonderful country, and I am proud! However, the truth is....we ARE spoiled.
The Lied Transplant Center can not be compared to a 3rd world country, but for this family.....maybe so. Maybe it took "getting down to the basics" to open my eyes once again. I pray that God will use it to remind me the next time I'm walking the aisles of Target or the mall. "Is this something we really need or just simply want?"
I am also aware this revelation is coming to me at a very purposeful time.....Christmas. We decided to only put up a very small tree this year....no stockings....no lights....no decorations. The reason was simply because of our "move" back home. I knew I would have so many other things to do, and worrying about the Christmas decor would only add stress. Did you know Reagan and Caed have said nothing! They were excited to put up the little tree, but have yet to ask about their stockings or the other. I love it!! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Christmas! I love seeing all the lights and decor everywhere. However, I have not missed for a second the stress (and $) that it involves. I wanted this year to be meaningful. To simplify. To try to focus solely on what Christmas truly is.........a celebration of salvation! I know we can do that AND get into the holiday spirit with all the decor, the endless parties, and gift giving. But, for me, this year.......I can't. I need to be home. I need to focus on my family. I need to reflect on this past year. I need to be reminded that "Less is truly more!!!!"
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
The big 4-0
This morning Todd took Caed to his weekly dr. appt. He gained about 8 ounces the last 10 days.....which means he has officially left the "30's". He weighed in at 40.4 lbs!! Praise God! His blood draw went well, I guess. We will wait tomorrow for the results. Don't expect anything to be out of whack. Caed is still going strong.
I also was on the phone most of the afternoon trying to find a Pedi Endochrinologist. The ones I tried do not take our insurance, and when I called Children's Dallas, the quickest they can see him is April. Not sure Nebraska will want to wait that long. Our GI dr. there said his growth hormone level was irretracable, and was in the works trying to get him started ASAP. So, another call went out to the IRP in NE. I will hopefully hear something tomorrow.
Another praise is that we finally got our home infusion started here through Option Care Dallas. We should get our first shipment of meds and supplies tonight. Hopefully!!!!!!!! We are running low.
It's amazing how difficult it can be trying to get everything transferred. (drugs, med supply company, drs, etc.....) However, for the most part....everyone has been very nice and is helping us as best they can. I definitely have felt a peace knowing things are slowly falling into place.
I also was on the phone most of the afternoon trying to find a Pedi Endochrinologist. The ones I tried do not take our insurance, and when I called Children's Dallas, the quickest they can see him is April. Not sure Nebraska will want to wait that long. Our GI dr. there said his growth hormone level was irretracable, and was in the works trying to get him started ASAP. So, another call went out to the IRP in NE. I will hopefully hear something tomorrow.
Another praise is that we finally got our home infusion started here through Option Care Dallas. We should get our first shipment of meds and supplies tonight. Hopefully!!!!!!!! We are running low.
It's amazing how difficult it can be trying to get everything transferred. (drugs, med supply company, drs, etc.....) However, for the most part....everyone has been very nice and is helping us as best they can. I definitely have felt a peace knowing things are slowly falling into place.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Family
Only 48 hours................and yet it seemed like a year. We left my parents' house Sat. afternoon, and by 9:00 last night, they were here with us in Celina! Now, before you get the wrong idea and think they just couldn't stay away from Caleb (partly true...ha!), they came simply to stay the night. It was either here with us or a hotel. I think we all knew that the hotel just wouldn't cut it.
My dad's mom (Gwen) is in a Tyler hospital (about 130 miles away). She is having open heart surgery as I type (Tue. morning). Please keep her in your prayers. I really can't even begin to describe her. She is one in a million!! A Godly woman with SUCH wisdom. Normally the dr. said he would not consider doing this surgery on an 88 yr. old, but because she is in overall "good health," he feels she will do just fine. However.....it is open heart surgery, so we just pray they will be able to repair the damage and she can recover as smoothly as possible.
When my parents walked through the front door, Caleb made a bee line straight for them!! I know he missed them both so much!! He just kept going from one to the other....just couldn't get enough. My mom was even able to rock him to sleep before bedtime. Something I'm sure they both needed. It was kinda hard for Reagan and Caed to understand Nana & Grandaddy weren't getting to stay. (they left back out this morning at 4 am) However, just the few hours we could see them last night was wonderful. Might seem odd to some people how much we have already missed them after only 48 hrs. apart (not to mention the year spent in Idalou). And if that is the case, then you don't know my parents! I love them so much and enjoy any and all time spent together. They simply brighten my spirits. Yes, they will always be my "mom and dad," but more importantly, they have become "my friend." It has been hard being away from our family the last 7 years. But, what joy this past year brought being able to see everyone (Todd's family too) on a daily basis. God knew being close to OUR FAMILY was crucial for us during this difficult time.
Just seeing that familiar face, reminiscing old stories, laughing together, crying together, supporting you no matter what, always giving Godly counsel, and loving you unconditionally...that's what my family is all about. I AM BLESSED! I know it. I do not take it for granted. And I thank GOD daily for the undeserving gift that He has given me through my family.............every single member!! I love each and every one of you!!!
My dad's mom (Gwen) is in a Tyler hospital (about 130 miles away). She is having open heart surgery as I type (Tue. morning). Please keep her in your prayers. I really can't even begin to describe her. She is one in a million!! A Godly woman with SUCH wisdom. Normally the dr. said he would not consider doing this surgery on an 88 yr. old, but because she is in overall "good health," he feels she will do just fine. However.....it is open heart surgery, so we just pray they will be able to repair the damage and she can recover as smoothly as possible.
When my parents walked through the front door, Caleb made a bee line straight for them!! I know he missed them both so much!! He just kept going from one to the other....just couldn't get enough. My mom was even able to rock him to sleep before bedtime. Something I'm sure they both needed. It was kinda hard for Reagan and Caed to understand Nana & Grandaddy weren't getting to stay. (they left back out this morning at 4 am) However, just the few hours we could see them last night was wonderful. Might seem odd to some people how much we have already missed them after only 48 hrs. apart (not to mention the year spent in Idalou). And if that is the case, then you don't know my parents! I love them so much and enjoy any and all time spent together. They simply brighten my spirits. Yes, they will always be my "mom and dad," but more importantly, they have become "my friend." It has been hard being away from our family the last 7 years. But, what joy this past year brought being able to see everyone (Todd's family too) on a daily basis. God knew being close to OUR FAMILY was crucial for us during this difficult time.
Just seeing that familiar face, reminiscing old stories, laughing together, crying together, supporting you no matter what, always giving Godly counsel, and loving you unconditionally...that's what my family is all about. I AM BLESSED! I know it. I do not take it for granted. And I thank GOD daily for the undeserving gift that He has given me through my family.............every single member!! I love each and every one of you!!!
Surgery update
**Granny's surgery went well. Lasted about 5 hrs. My dad said they were getting her moved to ICU, and they will go in to see her later. Thanks for your prayers!!
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