It Could Always Be Worse...

I was introduced to this wonderful book back in my Children's Lit class in college. It instantly hit a chord with me....not sure why. My life at that time was relatively easy and care free (particularly in hindsight). But, for some reason the title of this book and the author's purpose in writing this award winning folk tale.....stayed with me. All these years.

Today has been one of those days that self-pity, frustration, disappointment, and fear have taken root (yet again) in my heart. Things were going beautifully. All according to plan. And then I heard that cry...

An all familiar cry we have learned from Caed. When you hear it, you just know.... Gut trouble. 99% of the time it can be easily relieved by a visit (or 2) to the bathroom. It just comes with being an SBS'er. I hollered to him to go to the restroom while continuing to fold laundry. Never skipping a beat. Never thinking anything more. The cries continued. Finally, when I went to check on him, he held his hand over his incision area and let out another moan. Still clueless to what he was trying to tell me, I began reprimanding him for sneaking too many cookies (ie. sugar pain) earlier in the evening. He shook his head no, and finally said softly....."It's my incision. It hurts!"

My heart sunk as my eyes saw the tiny opening. In the same place. I wish I knew what expression came across my face. I wish I could have known to hide it. Soon, Caed began weeping uncontrollably, grabbing hold of me. Then the all too familiar "I'm scared Mommy! I don't want to go back!" echoed over and over off the cold bathroom floor. In that instant, I knew I better shape up and show him that I wasn't worried in the least. The 'Everything was Going to be OK' speech was quickly recited as I tried desperately to get his attention on something, anything else.

But deep down, Todd and I knew. This isn't good. WHY did this happen? The incision had been looking great up until that point. The interrogation began as Todd and I questioned every action, every decision, we had made over these past 3 weeks. What did we do wrong? Should we have allowed this...or that?

I called his local surgeon and thankfully got an appointment this week! Not sure what the solution will be, but our gut (no pun intended) tells us a plastic surgeon may need to get involved now. Once again, I know this isn't a life or death matter. He will get over yet another hurdle. But......we were so hoping this was going to be the end. Problem solved 3 weeks ago. Just seems once you get comfortable again....another curve ball is thrown. We are just tired. So very tired. And ready to get this year BEHIND us!

My heart has been heavy today. A deep sadness swept in last night and has had a strong hold on me ever since. However, as I grudgingly made my way through Walmart tonight....it hit me! Like a ton of bricks barricading my little basket in the middle of the cereal aisle.....

My favorite story! Remember Lori, "It Could ALWAYS Be Worse!!!" No matter the situation. No matter how hopeless. How helpless. How lost...or out of 'control' you feel. It can always be worse. I'm not sure if there is any deep Biblical truth to that little saying, but I do know what it reminds me of when I hear it. I am reminded of the countless...endless number of ways the Lord has blessed me. The ways he continues to bless me. It's in the little things....a roof over my head. Electricity. (sure don't take that for granted this week!) Food in the pantry. A loving, Godly husband enjoying a game of football in the next room. My three beautiful children sleeping soundly (and warm) in their beds. Toys and the laughter they bring. A job I love to go to. And a computer that allows me to share my heart with the world. My list, like yours....can go on and on and on. Things are good! Blessings and favor have been graciously poured into our home this year. We have MUCH to thank God for tonight. And MUCH to thank God (in advance) in the coming days.....

This 'new' problem did not catch God off guard, like it did us. There is a plan and a purpose for everything under the sun. We may question it. We may not understand it. But HE is still in control. And HE will never let go of Caed. He is lovingly, purposefully being held ever so tightly in the palms of His hands.