One year ago......we sat in the Surgical Waiting Room at 3 am in utter disbelief that our "baby boy" was undergoing major emergency surgery. I know now how much the Lord protected us that night....if we'd only known then what the next 364 days would be like.......
One year ago.....our lives as we knew it changed forever. Sometimes the unthinkable doesn't happen to someone else....it happens to you!
I have thought so much about this day. I began wondering months ago what this day would be like. Would it be filled with sorrow having to relive some of the worst moments of my life? Or would it be filled with gratitude to the Lord for ALL He has done, and the way He carried us through it? I would have to say....both! There have been moments today that I literally felt sick to my stomach....no appetite and no desire to carry on a "normal evening." I just couldn't get those awful thoughts out of my head. As much as I tried to convince myself...."think of something else, Lori!!".......the more those images were burned into my head. However, I then began to realize maybe that was a blessing in disguise. Maybe the Lord wanted me to relive some very painful memories to show me HOW FAR HE HAS BROUGHT US!!!! To consider His mercy. To dwell on His provision. To thank Him for His Sovereign Hand. And now......to TRUST!
Trust in yet another year that will inevitably throw us a few curve balls.
Oh, if I could turn back the hands of time. Turn it back to just one year and one day. What would I do differently? Would I hold my children longer at bedtime? Would I not be as "busy" with those mundane daily chores and just play a game with them? Dance in one of their many shows? Stop long enough to soak them in....really soak them in! Get to know these precious gifts given to me only a few short years ago. For one thing I know for sure now.......they are not ours! They are on loan from a Father who loves and knows them much greater than I. How long will we get to keep these beautiful gifts? Only He knows. So instead of living in regret and wishing to turn back the hands of time, Lord.......help me to live each day passionately. Let me always see the small things. Help me to slow down. And allow me to truly get the most out of the gifts You gave me.
To think back from March 1st 2008 to now......and count all the ways we saw God in every detail........wow!, there just wouldn't be time or space to cover them all. I truly get overwhelmed just considering it. What an incredible God we serve! The fact that He works like that. Not just the big stuff. No...in every possible minute detail. Isn't that amazing? Thank you God that you love us so much and do indeed have wonderful, exciting plans for our lives. And You choose to do so by using the details. Let us be more mindful of that, and learn what it really means to TRUST YOU! Thank you for using the tough times for our good. Help us to see Your Hand working us through the refiner's fire. The sole purpose.......to make us more like Jesus!
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)
7 comments:
Todd & Lori,
I thank God for the many ways you have pointed us to our Heavenly Father over the last year: You have taught us about a true life of faith; You have taught us about patience; You have taught us about thankfulness; You have taught us about the love of God; and the list could go on.
Thank you. We love and appreciate your family, but most of all we love and are thankfu to the Holy and Sovereign God that is your focus. You are part of the living "cloud of witnesses" that encourages us to "... lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." (Heb 11:1-2)
Because He Lives,
Brent, Angela, Abbie & Caleb
Amen sister! You say it so well. God is good and we are all blessed! I love you friend!
Amy O.
Taking in every moment reminded me of a scripture that I have been reading over and over these past few years in light of raising kids! "Look carefully then how you walk, not as wise but as unwise, making the best use of your time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." Eph. 5:15-17
Things like this are good reminders that we do need to stop and just soak up the good in our lives. Live like there is no tommorrow. Fight the good fight. Have an eternal perspective. Love more! Laugh more... Oh that we can just be obedient to our call on this earth! All good things to ponder on and to see how God has answered so many prayers for you and your family in this last year. So glad you are in the place you are today...praying for many blessings for you this next year! God bless and thank you for an open heart and for sharing. It has given us all encouragement in our own circumstances. It has been a priviledge to pray for your family!
I thought about and prayed for you guys alot yesterday. I hope it was a great day!!!
Steph
Thanks for sharing your testimony, your sorrows and hurts this past year, Lori. Your writings have helped equipped me for my "storm".
May God continue to heal and bless your family.
Bridget R.
Lori,
Thank you so much for sharing ALL of you and your family! God has definitely taught me many things through your suffering and your joys! You continue to teach me what it really looks like to live out your faith! I love ya, girl! Thankful God for sparing sweet Caed's life and asking for continued healing!
Mar
Lori, you are certainly gifted with words! Thank you for sharing your thoughts, feelings and family with us. Reading your blog has been a devotional time for me. I will continue to pray for you and your family. Love, Lyndi
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