Soakin' up the Vit D

God answered our prayers for sunshine! It was a gorgeous day. Caed even pulled out his swim suit and decided to play in the water. I know our sweet friends in Nebraska are in shock. Have no fear.....here in Texas we can have a beautiful spring like day one minute and a blast of winter the next. Looks like this weekend we are due for some temps back in the 40's. I told Reagan and Caed they were not allowed to play inside today. Wanted Caed to soak up as much sun as possible.

My mom is still here. We decided we could get a lot done if we just had "a couple more days." We basically gutted the playroom....and turned it upside down. It's still not finished, but is in MUCH better condition. She is planning on heading out in the morning. :( We will sure miss her tons!! Already looking forward to the next time we'll be together. (whenever that is)

Todd and I are going to try to go out tonight since we have a free babysitter still here. We sure have needed some time away. Been a very long year!!


He lined up his riding toys and gave them all a good wash.

Another milestone

Tonight was a big night for this little boy. He made another small step towards "normalcy." Ever since all this happened, Caed has been very clingy to me. I remember right after he was discharged from the hospital in May, I could not even leave the room without him making awful groaning noises. (this was during the time he didn't speak much) He eventually overcame his fear of being away from Mommy.....HOWEVER, in certain situations (ie. Sunday School, AWANAS, children's choir).....he has been struggling for quite some time. When I would try to take him, he would cry and beg me to not make him stay. What is a mother to do? I struggled deeply not knowing what the best stragedy was for getting him back with his friends (alone). What was going on inside him? Was there fear? Was he self-conscious of his backpack and tube with his "old buddies?" Was he afraid something might happen and Mommy wouldn't be around to fix it? Or had he just been away for too long? It might be none of these and I'm trying to dissect something that doesn't need to be analyzed. Or it could be a combination of all of them. Who knows? I decided the best thing for me to do was not push. Just be patient with him and realize he will go when he is ready. (And I needed to stop worrying what others thought.) So, tonight (AWANAS) I told Reagan to go get ready. When I went outside to rally her in, she ran up and told me "Mommy....Caed said he wants to go to Cubbies!" I was shocked, but outwardly tried to remain unaffected by her comment. The whole way to church I kept thinking once we got there....once we stood at the doorway to his classroom, he'll back out. He'll beg me (again) to let him go upstairs with the youth. It didn't happen! He walked up, went right in, and never looked back. Yes, I was shocked, but also knew that it had to be HIS decision. In HIS timing. And when HE was ready, all would be fine. Just like before. I know this may not seem like a very big milestone. But, to us it is! Things in Caed's life took a turn upside down. Everything!! The big and the not so big. When we begin seeing the pieces fit back together just as they were a year ago.....then we call it progress. Praise God!!!!

enjoying "store night" at Cubbies

Listening during story time




Another cool thing happened tonight. Caed received a very special gift. One of our youth has a brother who plays football for Tech (Adam James)..............son of sports broadcaster Craig James. Anyway, he got several players to sign Caed a football. (Harrell, Crabtree.....just to name a few) Thank you SO MUCH for continuing to think of him!! It means more than you'll ever know!

the guys giving Caed his football

Guns UP!!!!!


**Caed had his blood drawn today. Daddy said he was very brave. They weighed him at 41.2. When we were in NE 2 weeks ago, he was 42 lbs. However, once again we are dealing with the difference of scales. (frustrating) We bought (hopefully) a good scale today, so maybe we can begin to measure his weight more accurately here at home now. ???? We'll see. I just never trust these home scales too much.

Caed needs the sun!

Found out today that he has a very low vitamin D level. They said it is common with short gut because most are missing the part of the bowel that absorbs this fat soluble vitamin. Caed will need to start taking a vitamin D3 supplement daily. However, they said the best source of it is simply the sun. So....we are ready for winter to be over and spring and summer to get here. The more time he can be out playing in the sunlight....the better.

During our last NE clinic visit, Caed had lots of extra blood drawn. One thing they wanted to recheck was his growth hormone level. The last time they checked it was when we first got to NE when his labs were out of whack. So, today I heard from our nurse coordinator and she said it once again showed NO detectable growth hormone. We will go ahead with the Pedi Endocrinologist. I was sure hoping things were better in that department. Oh well. It could always be worse.

We had a fairly productive day with the house. Things are slowly getting back to normal. I owe so much to my mom. She has helped out tremendously!!!! Her plan as of now is to leave out Wed. sometime. I know she misses home (and my dad), but I am sure going to miss her!!!! We have been together (except for the 3 mos. in NE) for a whole year! She came here to our house a few weeks before Caleb was born to help me get things in order and ready for a new baby. Little did we know what the future held..................... God is gracious that way. We may fight it and beg for Him to show us what's in store, but He knows we couldn't handle it. He knows that it is best for us to simply live in the present. And to take one day at a time. Even now, I find myself worrying about tomorrow and the ones that follow . I am wasting my energy. He hasn't promised me "tomorrow" but He has given me TODAY. I need to make the best of it!!

Hold You High

(look closely....you can find Caed-man on the front row in a striped shirt. He absolutely LOVES stuff like this....especially the BAND!!!!)


....the theme from our Disciple Now weekend. It was (as usual) an incredible 3 days! There is always so much leading up to this annual event for our family. It is by far Todd's busiest time as a student minister. We don't get to see much of him the few weeks leading up to it, but it is so worth it in the end. Todd truly has a gift in organizing events like this. (right down to every minor detail) This weekend was amazing, and the Lord was faithful. His presence was inevitably felt and I believe He touched every heart (in some way). Many students were saved and even more re-dedicated their lives to Him. Oh, how I needed this weekend!!!!

The kids and I "moving back" (officially) this week was difficult in the sense that Todd was not around much. Like I said before, this is his absolutely busiest week of the year. I found myself questioning the timing. However, I found out rather early into the weekend that it was definitely a God-thing. My mom is still here helping us get "settled." Therefore, it allowed Reagan, Caed, and I to go and be apart of D-Now much more than if I had Caleb by myself. I am so thankful for her and HOW MUCH she has helped me this past year and continues even today.

With all that being said......we did not have as productive of days as we would have liked. D-Now began Thurs. night and it was go...go...go...ever since. I am hoping we can really make lots of progress the next couple of days.

I have had so many people tell me not to worry about getting everything done. "It will eventually happen." Yes, good advice. I agree. However, I wish I could invite you all to my home so you could see for yourself what I'm talking about. Maybe it's just my personality, but it is very hard for me to resume "normal life" (stay-home mom of 3....one baby.....one ill.....and one homeschooled) if things are in total disarray around me. Having to live out of suitcases and boxes is not fun. It doesn't really seem like "home" when you can't find anything you need and you are tripping over boxes at every turn. We were not even able to get everything in this trip. My parents' neighbor (Russ) will be in the area soon, so he is graciously going to deliver the rest to us then. Also remember that the majority of all the boxes and tubs are filled with things that are new. They do not yet have a "home" here. So, we are having to go through everything (can I stress that again??? - cabinets, drawers, closets....every inch of this house!) to get rid of the old and make room for the new. It is an overwhelming task, and even more so when you couple that with D-Now weekend. ha! And, no....my mom will not have to stay forever! I think if we can have a couple more really good productive days, I will feel much better and be able to feel "settled" in my mind and then start trying to resume normal living. Whatever that means.

Home again...

It was a long day, and we are all exhausted. We pulled into Celina late last night, and have spent today slowly making our way from room to room. Our home was filled with mountains of boxes from Nebraska, and now we have added even more. My mom and I decided this morning to just tackle one room at a time. Today was the kitchen. I can't even tell you the number of trash bags that we filled!!! A lot has to be gone through when you've been away for almost a year. Plus, it's just nice to be able to do some 'spring cleaning' a little early this year.

Yesterday leaving Idalou was very emotional for me. Probably spent the first couple of hours in tears. Yes, I was happy to be coming back to Celina and seeing Todd and our family being together....but "Idalou" is home to me. I moved there when I was in the 4th grade. Graduated high school there and then even went back after college and began teaching in the same building I once attended. My family and friends all still live there too. I have a history there. People know me. I know them. Things are familiar, and every street has a memory attached. Those of you fortunate enough to grow up in a small community (where everybody knows your name...ha!), know that you may grow up and leave the town....but the town will never leave YOU!

As we were pulling out of my parents' driveway, a deep sadness flooded my soul. I know many reading this do not understand. I should have been ecstatic....overjoyed. I was finally (really) getting to come back home. However, as we made our way through Idalou, we suddenly found ourselves in heavy congestion. A family was having to bury their 15 yr. old son yesterday. The whole community literally paused and came together as only those small towns do. As we drove past the cemetery, I couldn't help but think......"that could have been you, Lori!" And yet, for some reason the Lord had mercy on our son, and guess what? I was finally getting to bring him HOME! Something we prayed for over and over. The Lord showed me that this was a day of rejoicing for our family. He turned our mourning into dancing. Caed is healing. He is doing things today that he was not able to even 6 mos. ago. He is a happy, energetic, alive............little 5 year old boy. So even though it was initially a sad day for me, the Lord opened my eyes (through someone else's pain) to show me His GOODNESS. To show me how He answers prayer, and that He has us in the palm of His hand (wherever we are!)

Packing it all away

It's 2 am....I should be asleep. I am both physically and emotionally exhausted. The past few days have been tough. I have had to pack away my 2008. Not only is this house becoming more and more empty.....so are our hearts.

As I began with my clothes, I came across outfit after outfit that reminded me of darker days. I can specifically remember wearing each one of them day after day at the hospital. Oh, and let's not forget the "black jacket." Those of you who came to visit us during the month of March (particularly) probably thought that was the only thing I owned. I wore it out!! To look at it now......I hate it. (no offense Marnie - it was one of the many maternity clothes she let me borrow) There is not one single good memory from that jacket. Those first few weeks were the darkest, and I literally wore it every single day. Do I dare admit where I have kept my earrings? Do you REALLY want to know?







........in a urine specimen container! I stuffed it in my purse on March 1st when the ER physicians wanted us to collect a urine sample from Caed. His body was in shock. He was in renal failure. Let's just say it never happened. So....I was left with a small sanitized container that perfectly held my jewelry. It's worked great.....but not a day goes by that the painful memory from that night doesn't pop into my head (as I put on my earrings, of course). I could go on and on how every little thing I have had to box up has some very difficult memory attached to it. I have honestly had a sick feeling in my stomach all day.

Next, comes the packing away of Caed's toys. Let's just say.....he has "quite a few!" ha! With every box of crayons, dart gun, race car, or board game also came with it grief. As I sat taking his toys off the shelves, my heart was about to explode. I held the little yellow gun that made him smile for the first time. The memories of that night!! Ones I will never forget. Honestly there was a side of me that wanted to literally throw all of it away. There is pain in seeing some of them again. However, I would quickly remember WHO gave it to him and the love and prayers that were sent along too, and it turned my sadness into joy. Thank you all again for loving Caed. For thinking of him, and wanting to send him something that you thought would cheer him up. It did!

Next came Reagan's stuff. There were similar memories with hers, however they were all good. Boy, did she have a fun year here at Nana & Grandaddy's house. We turned the basement into "her hangout," and there were hundreds and hundreds of hours spent playing babies or putting on Hannah Montana shows down there. Even with the door closed you could still hear the bass thumping from any room in the house. She and her cousin Bergan became inseparable. They are such good friends and the Lord truly blessed Reagan by sending her Bergan this year. He knew she was just what my little girl needed to get through a VERY trying time. My mom and I were just commenting tonight how sad it makes us to see Bergan's bike sitting in the garage. We are really going to miss her (and seeing them together). Thank you Gunter family for taking her in! You are one more example of how the Lord was in the tiniest of details. We are honored that Reagan spent the time that she did in your home!!



Where do I even begin with little Caleb? This honestly is the only "home" he has ever known. He came when he was only 2-1/2 wks old. Not only has he grown up here, but also with his Grandaddy & Nana beside him every step of the way. They have all but raised this child. I am forever indebted to them for what they have done for us. I know not many grandparents would have offered to do what they have done. I love them SO much and can't even imagine going through this past year without them! I honestly do not even have words to say that would adequately express my heart. I will not even try. (please pray for my parents as they will be experiencing the empty nest syndrome for the 2nd time in their lives).

My heart is heavy tonight. I am struggling more than anyone can possibly realize. I sit here with my hands frozen......... I can't even find the words to share what I'm feeling. There is SO much inside....and yet nothing will come out.

It's ok. My heavenly Father sees through every corner of my heart. He knows. He cares. He comforts as only a Father can. He reassures.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways acknowledge Him.....and HE WILL DIRECT YOUR PATHS. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

A shock to my system

"Go get your coat, Reagan. It's winter!!!..."

...I yelled out as we were heading out the door this afternoon. I took 3 steps outside and my body literally went into shock. After spending the last 5 days in Nebraska............well, need I say more? I'm not sure what the high was today, but when we got in the car, the temp read 72!!! All I could do was think back to yesterday morning at 5:30 as Caed and I were bundled up pushing our way through the "arctic blast of wind!!" Oh! it was cold!!!!! Everytime we got into our rental car, the heater was cranked to "BROIL." Today, I found myself doing the opposite. ha!

We ran some much needed errands this afternoon, and the plan is to spend the next couple of days going through this house and attempting to pack up everything that belongs to us. Can I remind you that Reagan and Caleb have been living here for almost a year! Caed and Reagan first came here on Feb. 22, 2008. Caleb then joined the household a week later.

When we left here after Thanksgiving, we did not have the room to load up everything. We thought it was more important to simply get HOME.....without the stress of having to "move" too. I wish you could imagine your life this past year.....try to think of EVERYTHING you used during it......probably couldn't pack it all into a few suitcases, huh? (and don't forget you have 3 kids too) My mom is planning on coming with us to Celina for a few days to help out. I was able to go through a few closets, clean out most of the pantry, and unpack all the boxes from Nebraska a few weeks ago......but oh!, do I dare say we have only touched the surface. I am actually feeling ok. Yes, a little "unsettled" and overwhelmed at all the packing that has to be done, but I'm just ready to finally BE HOME! Our time in Celina the few weeks of December was only a tease in my mind. I knew with the holidays and our trip back to NE, we would only get to be "home" a short time. Now......things should finally settle down a bit (Lord willing!!).

I do pray we can rest and have a "quieter" 2009.

*I will continue to blog. (I'm addicted now...ha!) Caed's story is far from over!! And I will always have "something" to share. Just may not be an everyday occurrence........thanks for continuing to read (and pray for our family) even if the "drama" has faded. We love you all!!!!