My heart hurts tonight. No, actually it down right is broken. Tonight was Todd's last Wed. night. Not just here in Celina, but as a youth minister. It's surreal. He has delivered a message every Wed. night for the last 13 years. That's nearly 700 sermons. (not to mention SS lessons back in the day when he taught that too....and of course Bible Studies on Sun. nights) I can't begin to describe what I felt listening to him for the "last time." The last game....the last song....the last word of encouragement. It was absolute torture for me. In that moment, with tears streaming down my face...I wanted to stop it all. The good-byes, the packing, the new life that awaits us. I didn't want this night to end. As the last amen was voiced.....I reluctantly looked up and saw "my girls!" There were no words that could be said...only buckets of tears shed.
Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike change? I avoid it at all costs, and when it comes knocking on my door, I generally pull the shade and pretend I'm not home. It doesn't go away. The banging just continues on and on and on, until I finally am forced to let it in and STAY! Experience, however has taught me that change is not always in the form of an evil stranger. Once I stop fighting it, I soon realize the so called "poison apple" is actually bountiful blessings in disguise.
To live this life without change is impossible. It's just the way God designed it. Sometimes it is welcomed and exciting and full of new possibilities. Other times it is dreaded and fought and difficult to surrender to. Either way, I believe God uses it to grow us. To hinder our nature that so desires complacency. When welcomed with a trusting heart, God blesses.
I know in reality tonight isn't "the end." It's still there. It's how He created Todd and I. Although our job titles will change very soon and being paid to "minister" will stop....I know beyond a shadow of a doubt we will not! Our ministry is simply experiencing a face lift. It's scary. It's exciting. It's like jumping out of an airplane. (knowing our parachute will open, of course). Our hearts are racing....adrenaline pumping....but we know after the initial step, we will be soaring and laughing and begging to do it all over again!
To our FBC students:
Just as tonight showed....words are inadequate to let you know what these past 4 years have meant to us. You guys are special, and you know that. It's what makes Celina...Celina. We wouldn't trade our time here with you all for anything!! Continue doing what you're doing. God has SUCH amazing things in store for you as a group and also individually. Press hard into HIM! We love you!!!!
7 comments:
Girl, you can write! You and your family will do well wherever you are planted. Best Wishes to you all!
We are so BLESSED to have had you and Todd ministering to our kids. Thank you for your sacrificial service. Haley's life will forever be blessed because you guys are part of it.
Change is hard, but you will continue to serve the LORD with gladness wherever HE leads you. Go home to your family, and ENJOY!!!
Love,
Brenda Goodell
Your family has been such a blessing to us. May God watch over you as you start this new journey. We love you! Verna & Junior Worthey
Praying for all of you in this transition. I know you are having mixed feeling. God has great things in store for your family.
So wish I could've been there with you to see you through it...we've shared many a tear together...but many a laugh as well! ;) I love you and your family and will continue praying for this change.
I hate change too. But it sometimes leads us to better things even if it can bring bigger challenges!
Please know that many are waiting for you all in Idalou with BIG open arms!
Ross Ann
Once again, showing your grace for others to learn from! You are such a blessing Lori! I am so glad to have met you years ago and I will follow you as long as you keep writing and keep in touch. :) Lots of Love and prayers - Melissa
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