Here it goes....

I honestly can't believe I'm writing this post. The Lord began laying it on my heart about 9 months ago, and I have continually pushed the thought away or told him "You're crazy!" But, just like God works, when He wants you to do something....He won't let it go. I have had many dreams about it, think about it many times throughout the course of my day, and have finally run out of excuses. So, here it goes......

I have officially begun writing a BOOK! Oh my....did I really just admit that? The thought alone scares me to my core. And at the same time, I have such peace and excitement that is just waiting to be released. For me....making this official "announcement" is my way of finally letting go. I have held on and pushed this "absurd thought" far away into the deep dark corners of my heart for long enough.

Now, for the big confession. I have absolutely NO idea the first thing involved in trying to write a book! I have told you before how much I loathe the whole writing-process-thing we learned in school. I'm fairly certain I consistently break all the rules when it comes to writing. I have no idea how am I going to do this....when I will possibly find the time to do it.....nor what the end result will look like. However, once again, I have a peace that is unexplainable.

Just asking for prayer as I embark on this new adventure, and for you to hold me accountable.

(The Lord gave me the title to the book this past spring when a good friend of mine was battling breast cancer. I will save that....but have posted this picture I took as a little hint.)

Love you ALL! I thank many of you and your perpetual "nagging" over the course of the last 2 years. I believe the Lord has used it to speak to me and get me to take this giant leap of faith.

Our stone

Today is Caed's 7th birthday. As usual it's been a day filled with much joy and celebration, but also great reflection.

I received a comment on my Facebook page today that completely sums up what has been on my heart. (thank you Greg!)

Life is hard. Period. We will all have moments in our lives of peace and joy and prosperity. When all seems right in the world. Then, out of nowhere, those wilderness experiences blindside us and our "perfect" world takes a U-turn. When it rains, it pours, right? It's those times when we question God. Where are You? Why have You allowed this? If You were really a loving God, then______! But, God being God, He doesn't leave us in that place forever. He IS loving and faithful, and He leads us into the valleys for a specific appointed purpose. Just for US! Yes, it's painful. Yes, we will initially fight it with every fiber of our being. But, if we can only trust and hold fast to HIM.....He will in His prefect timing, lead us back to the mountain top stronger than before. I believe our lives are like a roller coaster. Up and down....up and down...over and over and over. Sometimes we may have many years of favor and blessing before the darkness hits again, or sometimes we may feel we are having to live in the valley for FAR TOO LONG and plead with Him for mercy and deliverance.

Right now....I feel that my family (specifically the health of Caed) is high upon the mountain. We suffered for what seemed like an eternity, and now we are seeing the light. The glorious light of a normal family of 5.....enjoying life! I obviously cannot foresee the future, and have NO idea what lies ahead for each one of us. But, I DO know that we are not "out of the woods." Hard times will definitely strike again in some unknown way. Instead of living in fear, we must cling to His past faithfulness!

I am reminded of the story in Joshua where the nation of Israel crossed the Jordan. The Lord told the people to gather 12 stones from the riverbed and set them at the place where they would stay. The reason? So that when future generations saw those stones and asked what they meant, they could retell the story of His amazing faithfulness so many years before and stand as a memorial to the people of Israel forever!

We have a stone. It's roughly 4 ft. tall and weighs approx. 45 lbs. It has a contagious laugh and is FULL of life. Although hooked to a machine, it is sleeping soundly right now under our very own roof. It is likely dreaming of football, baseball, being the star drummer in a band, or fighting off evil with his super hero friends. It is a reminder to us of a God who still performs miracles. Of a God who never let us go as we faced the most frightening days and months we had ever experienced. This God lavished us in an ocean of MERCY. He held every tear we ever cried. And answered our pleas for healing. He didn't have to. He would be perfectly just and holy and loving and faithful and merciful had we buried Caed in 2008. Yet we undeservingly were spared.

To this day I still carry a photograph (of my stone) in my Bible as a reminder of this very thing.



When times get hard, when things happen that we don't understand, or when we plea with Him for deliverance.......all we have to do is look no further than our stone. It is a reminder to Todd and I of a God who IS faithful! Who IS in control! Who loves us enough to not only hear our prayers but answer them! And who will carry us ever so tightly all the days of our life....whether high upon the mountain, in the deepest cavern, or simply wandering the desert.

And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age. (Matt. 28:20)

Caed,
We love you more than words could ever describe! You are our joy! And we count it an awesome privilege to be your parents. May the Lord continue His favor on your life and may you grow to know Him as your Savior and Lord. We pray God will use you, your infectious personality, and the gifts He's given you to honor HIM!!! You have a story to tell................so do it with boldness and the way only "The Caed-Man" can!!!