The end of an era

My heart hurts tonight. No, actually it down right is broken. Tonight was Todd's last Wed. night. Not just here in Celina, but as a youth minister. It's surreal. He has delivered a message every Wed. night for the last 13 years. That's nearly 700 sermons. (not to mention SS lessons back in the day when he taught that too....and of course Bible Studies on Sun. nights) I can't begin to describe what I felt listening to him for the "last time." The last game....the last song....the last word of encouragement. It was absolute torture for me. In that moment, with tears streaming down my face...I wanted to stop it all. The good-byes, the packing, the new life that awaits us. I didn't want this night to end. As the last amen was voiced.....I reluctantly looked up and saw "my girls!" There were no words that could be said...only buckets of tears shed.

Have I ever mentioned how much I dislike change? I avoid it at all costs, and when it comes knocking on my door, I generally pull the shade and pretend I'm not home. It doesn't go away. The banging just continues on and on and on, until I finally am forced to let it in and STAY! Experience, however has taught me that change is not always in the form of an evil stranger. Once I stop fighting it, I soon realize the so called "poison apple" is actually bountiful blessings in disguise.

To live this life without change is impossible. It's just the way God designed it. Sometimes it is welcomed and exciting and full of new possibilities. Other times it is dreaded and fought and difficult to surrender to. Either way, I believe God uses it to grow us. To hinder our nature that so desires complacency. When welcomed with a trusting heart, God blesses.

I know in reality tonight isn't "the end." It's still there. It's how He created Todd and I. Although our job titles will change very soon and being paid to "minister" will stop....I know beyond a shadow of a doubt we will not! Our ministry is simply experiencing a face lift. It's scary. It's exciting. It's like jumping out of an airplane. (knowing our parachute will open, of course). Our hearts are racing....adrenaline pumping....but we know after the initial step, we will be soaring and laughing and begging to do it all over again!

To our FBC students:
Just as tonight showed....words are inadequate to let you know what these past 4 years have meant to us. You guys are special, and you know that. It's what makes Celina...Celina. We wouldn't trade our time here with you all for anything!! Continue doing what you're doing. God has SUCH amazing things in store for you as a group and also individually. Press hard into HIM! We love you!!!!

BIG changes in the Hollingsworth Home

It is official. We will be stepping out of full-time ministry and heading back home within a few short weeks. This is something that Todd and I have prayed about for almost 2 years. We never jump into anything haphazardly....in fact, you've never met two more analytical people than us. However, ministry doors continued to close, but going back to Lubbock opened very quickly (and clearly). We are equally sad, excited, nervous, and relieved. Lubbock/Idalou is home to Todd and I. We were both raised on the good 'ole South Plains and our families still reside there. So many friends that we have had growing up also are there. However....we are leaving behind a wonderful, supportive church/community called Celina. We don't have the words to express how DEEPLY we love and appreciate everything you have done for us the past 4 years. You welcomed us, helped us with any need that arose, and quickly became family. During the past 2 years in dealing with Caed and his sickness....you overwhelmed us!!!!!! God knew exactly where we needed to be and what special church would step up and minister to us during the hardest time in our lives. We will NEVER forget that! To our students - you make this job worthwhile. Your passion and love for life are contagious. We have loved every minute of leading you and walking beside you through your fun-filled, exciting, stressful high school and jr. high days. We look forward to watching you grow up, move on to college and someday start your own families! (yes, it will happen much sooner than you think!) The best part of youth ministry is seeing your students all grown up and living out their faith ON THEIR OWN! We look forward with great anticipation at how the Lord is going to use each one of you in the future. We will miss you guys SO MUCH!!!!

Todd will go back to work for United (Market Street) in Nov. He has about 12 yrs. previous experience with this company and is excited to step back into management. The kids will go to school out at Idalou, and I hope to go back to teaching at the Elem level. The life that Todd and I had prior to getting into vocational ministry seems to have made a full circle. Funny how things work out that way. We are very excited.

The kids are handling the news as expected. Todd and I took Reagan and Caed out to eat Friday night, and let the cat out of the bag over a delicious (un-touched) meal at On the Border. Reagan took it really hard. She cried for about 30 minutes....but we finally got her settled down enough to talk through it all. To show her the positive things that await this life-changing move. She began to laugh and could hardly wait to call her cousin/BFF Idalou friend, Bergan. Caed just sat in silence the whole time....staring at his emotionally unstable sister. ;) Finally, he looked up at me with tears in his eyes and asked, "But can I take my drums?" But of course!!! I plan on taking the kids to Idalou this weekend. Celina is out of school on Mon. the 8th, so I will take them up that day to meet their new principal and see the building, etc.... I think that will help with the transition immensely.

Our last Sunday will be Oct. 17, and then we will officially roll out sometime the first of Nov. I am still living in somewhat of a fog, trying to remind myself that this is really happening. Even though there are many uncertainties still in the picture (selling our home, etc...), I know that God is in control. We believe wholeheartedly that He is leading us in this, so trusting Him in the details should be..... easy. (I'm working on this one.)

Lots to do. Head is spinning. Heart is aching....and rejoicing. And trying to be still long enough to sit back and see how (in His perfect timing) HE has led Todd and I to this very point. Pretty amazing ride thus far! Looking forward to how He will use us in the future......